Cody Thomas

New Blog!

2008-06-11T00:39:00.000-05:00

Changing blog sites...

2008-02-06T19:58:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm making the switch over to WordPress. I have held back from making the switch, thinking that Blogger would step it up, but it never happened. Here's the new address:

http://codythomas.wordpress.com/

So make sure to change your bookmark links or subscribe to the feed by clicking on the link on the new blog.

By the way... Benji, I'm sorry that I picked the same template as you. I looked at all of them and just didn't like any of the other ones as much.

Optimism despite circumstances

2008-01-30T00:52:00.000-05:00

First off, this weekend was great. I spent the weekend in Birmingham, Alabama with Ashley and her worship team at her church, Brookview Wesleyan Church. Kindel and Thom came down with me to help out. It was a great time of both work and play. I was introduced to some good Greek food (although it didn't settle well in my stomach for some reason). I watched a couple good movies (especially Freedom Writers). Most of Saturday was spent working with the praise team. I walked them through a few particular songs with the goal of learning the songs, but also (and more importantly) the goal of teaching them how to take a modern worship song, tear it apart, be creative and innovative for your own setting, and implement it in practice. I hope I did my part to teach them those things. This was my first time doing something like this, so it was frustrating at times trying to verbalize or teach some things. The worship team was great though. They were awesome people and I was glad to be able to spend most of Saturday and Sunday with them. They really have a TON of potential to become a wonderful team of lead worshipers for that church. I'm praying the best for them!

Now I'm back here...poor...unemployed...and somewhat bored. Yet, despite my situation, I am still quite optimistic about where life is going. I don't know what God's next step for me might be, but I'm learning to get out of the way and be patient as He reveals it. I'm not sitting idle waiting for God to throw something in my lap. I believe that God moves with us and brings us to the right paths as we are walking, not as we are sitting on our hands. However, it is also easy for me to ask God to follow me as I embark down paths, attempting to make things happen for me. Neither is good and I'm learning the balance in that.

My hopes are up. My trust is in God. He is coming through for me. He always has. He always will.

Sweet home Alabama

2008-01-25T09:08:00.000-05:00

Well, it will be home at least for the weekend. Later today, I will pick up Kindel and Thom and will be heading down to Birmingham, Alabama for my first ever "worship workshop." Ashley Joiner is the worship leader at her home church down there and asked me a few months ago if I could come down sometime to spend a Saturday working with their band. Although I've had a lot of eclectic worship experiences and positions in the past, this still isn't the type of thing that I feel completely equipped to do, but I'm doing it anyways. We're driving down this afternoon and spending the night having some fun and free time. Then, from 9am to 3pm on Saturday, I will be working with their band, leading a practice through some new songs, teaching some creative aspects to the songs, and advising them on how to be more productive with their particular situation of how much time and talent they have to pour into leading worship. Then, Sunday morning I will probably lead worship with them.

If you remember, please pray for us as we travel. Pray for our safety, for no car trouble, and I also can't afford a speeding ticket. So pray that my foot doesn't fill up with lead...

Also, pray for me and the band. Pray that we will instantly bond and will spend a productive day together but also a fun day together.

Be back Sunday night!

The Church is...

2008-01-22T17:21:00.000-05:00

The Church is...

The continual movement of Jesus
The one and only bride of Jesus
Always changing
Focused on bringing people close to God
Focused on transforming lives
Powerful
Mighty
Able to completely change the culture around her
Meeting people where they are
Fighting with all it has to advance the Gospel
Abundantly giving of its time and resources
Meeting the physical needs of people
Showing love to each person that it can reach, inside and outside of its building's walls
Showing the world who Jesus is and why He should be followed
"Jesus with skin on," He still moves and works mighty things through His Church
A community passionately desiring to give everything in order to see people meet Jesus
Made of people who compassionately love
Made of people who generously and dangerously give
Made of people who sacrificially serve
Made of people who make the movement of Jesus advance
Loving even after it hurts
Giving even after it hurts
Serving even after it hurts
Aiming for excellence in everything
A community of faith, hope, and love
A movement of redemption, transformation, and devotion
Made of committed followers of Jesus who are ready to love, give, and serve until there is nothing left
Undivided and unwavering worshipers of God

The Church is not...

2008-01-22T17:11:00.000-05:00

The Church is NOT...

A social club
An institution
A business
A building
Mediocre
Complacent
Closed to anyone
Only for followers of Jesus
Satisfied with little passion
A museum of ancient rituals and songs
A rock concert
Static
Stagnant
Sitting on its hands, doing nothing
An add-on to the leftovers of your life
Made of people who join but don't serve and give to the movement of Jesus
Aiming for average
Loving only when it's completely necessary
Giving only when it's available
Serving only when it's convenient
Reaching the world halfway
An arena for political gain or agenda
Made of people who treasure security and comfort over risk
Looking for the easiest way to do ministry
Desiring little to no commitment

Smaller church is better church...?

2008-01-19T14:21:00.000-05:00

Many people don't like the megachurch movement for various reasons. Many of these reasons have begun a philosophy of ministry that can be summed up in "The Smaller, The Better." I find this to be a bad philosophy to fall under. Also, many who believe this are only attempting to justify the not-so-productive state of their own church instead of truly searching for the truth of what church can look like. This post is a list of only a few of those myths about how smaller churches are better than megachurches.

Myths of the "The Smaller, The Better" Ministry Philosophy:

Smaller churches have better quality (or deeper) teaching. This is not true! I have been in churches of all sizes. I grew up in churches from 100 to 1000. During my college years, I attended churches that ranged from 50 to 9000! During my first semester of graduate school, I chose to regularly attend a church of about 8000. (I chose to go there because of the hard-hitting and powerful messages!) I've spent time learning under many different pastors of different church sizes, denominations, and preaching styles. My experience has shown that the pastors at the larger churches fed me more and gave me a better "punch in the face" to live like Jesus than I ever got in the smaller churches. I'm NOT saying that you can't get that in smaller churches. I'm only saying that I, personally, rarely received that sort of life teaching in smaller churches. However, bigger doesn't always mean better teaching either (take a look at my posts on Joel Osteen). All I know is that, in my experience, Perry Noble and Jon Weece taught me far more about following Jesus than any other senior pastor from which I've learned.
Smaller churches truly worship God while bigger churches just entertain and put on a show. Before I get into anything, I just want to say that you can not judge the hearts of those present in ANY worship service, no matter the church size. Also, I hate to break the news, but there are most likely people in ANY worship service (of ALL church sizes) that don't genuinely worship God when they come to church. IN FACT, I would dare say that this is happening A LOT in most of the small churches throughout the southeast US. I say this because many people here in the south go to church because that is the "social expectation," not because they want to thank God for being their Lord and Savior. They go to church to show their face, making their appearance so that people will think they are good Christians and so they can feel good about themselves even if they don't live like a Jesus-follower through the week. Most of them are still going to the small, dying church for no other reason than "My great-grandaddy went to this church and all of my family has gone here since." This is the unfortunate church culture of the south. I despise it. It makes Jesus some social club, like joining the Kiwanis or something. NOW, back to my point. SAYING THAT BIG CHURCHES ENTERTAIN PEOPLE INSTEAD OF WORSHIP GOD IS ONLY A BAD EXCUSE FOR HORRIBLE MUSIC QUALITY IN SMALL CHURCHES. I'm sorry, but it's usually true. This excuse is used a lot to negate the spirituality behind the great quality music of larger churches. A small church can't have that sort of quality, is quite jealous of it, and so finds something that "must" be wrong with the larger church's worship. How dare us. Let's face it. Typically, smaller churches have poor quality music because there are little resources to pull from in a small church, while a large church has tons of resources to pull from (musicians, full time worship pastor, on-staff video/media directors, great sound systems, etc.). That's simply the truth. HOWEVER, just because the larger churches have these resources DOES NOT MEAN IT IS ANY LESS SPIRITUAL OR ANY LESS AUTHENTIC WORSHIP!!!! (Sidenote: Who is utilizing their resources better to give God the best worship service they can give: the larger church who gives intense detail to have the best quality possible in every minute of their service or the smaller church who throws a service together and writes a sermon on Saturday night and everything looks sloppy, struggling, and shoddy on Sunday morning? I've been in both and I know what my answer is. Lack of resources is no excuse for a sloppy service. I've led worship in a small church for years. I know firsthand! Everyone needs to step it up and put together all your resources to worship God best you can, no matter size...without bashing other churches' attempts at doing the same thing!)
Smaller churches do more "discipleship" while megachurches just evangelize. FALSE!!! Typically, it is true that megachurch Sunday worship services are sometimes focused more on reaching the unchurched, I don't see this as a problem. This is a great opportunity to reach tons of people with the Gospel (and in case you haven't noticed, most of America is now unchurched). We have to keep this evangelistic emphasis! Please don't make accusations that bigger churches don't disciple believers. Megachurches usually run on a "small group" model, in which people meet in smaller core groups throughout the week and dig even deeper into God's word and how to follow Jesus. These groups typically range from maybe four to twenty people. They meet together to discuss life, struggles, and look to God's word for instruction in how to live life best in following Jesus daily. These groups are where people get to deal with the "nuts and bolts" of living like Jesus. However, when taking a glance at large churches, a person can't see these life transformations and discipleship taking place because this takes place outside of Sunday morning...during real life.
Smaller churches have better fellowship because you know everybody. First, my experience has been that most "friendly fellowship" in churches is skin-deep...at best. So, no, you can't call the generic "how have you been?" and the "bless you..." as better fellowship. Second, if you think that everyone knowing who you are is better fellowship, then you might think you are more important than you really are. People knowing you is not the point of church, nor the point of fellowship. When in a larger church, I believe that truer fellowship can happen. When a person plugs into a small group that meets regularly and does life together, you actually get to know people on a deep level and also a social level. You also become close to those whom you serve with (because in larger churches, it is quite often a requirement of membership/partnership to serve in some form with the church). [Just a sidenote: Speaking of this requirement of membership, I love that most larger churches are asking this of those who commit to the church. I hate that many people in smaller churches who have been members for years do little to nothing to help the ministry of the church. Smaller churches tend to not push that one must serve. To partner with a church means to serve, not just use its resources.] Anyways, I would rather have 10 people who I deeply know and we deeply care about each other and help each other grow in following Jesus than have 100 people who know my name and ask me on Sundays "Brother, how are you this blessed day?"
Smaller churches teach "doctrine" and "theology," while megachurches only preach practical messages without "true" theology. Look...we have made a bad polarization between doctrine/theology and practical teaching. When did learning how to manage God's financial blessings become a non-theology topic? Last I checked, God is certainly concerned about us doing our best with His money and blessings (just take a look through the Bible, especially Jesus' teachings!). When did learning about relational evangelism in the workplace and coffee shops not become a non-theology topic? Last I checked, Jesus went to Matthew's house to eat with sinners and then "ripped the Pharisees a new one" when they accused him of bad company. We have polarized teachings as either doctrinal or "watered-down." If the preacher doesn't use words with sixteen letters that people don't understand, then it's "watered-down." Yet, in those very messages, some of the deepest doctrinal truths can be expressed and transform lives without ever using "Christianese" words. Again, I have learned more about the real life of following Jesus from teachings at two megachurches I attended than any of the small churches I attended.
Smaller churches are more concerned about real ministry, but megachurches are only concerned about numbers. Again, this is usually a horrible excuse for not reaching people like we are called to. Megachurches are "mega" because THEY ARE REACHING PEOPLE. Numbers don't mean changed lives, but I would bet that there are more changed lives out of the megachurch's 9000 people that they reach out to than out of the 50 that the small church reaches...Numbers matter because numbers translate as people hearing the Gospel and being given the chance to choose to follow Jesus.

This post is far too long and I'm sure I've repeated myself too many times in it. So I'm ending. I'm sorry if my thoughts offend, but I would question why they offend you before writing them off as false. Maybe they offend because we as humans too often go on the defensive without good reason. I feel like I have presented good reason for this defense. I want you to hear me one more time: I am not against small churches. However, my experiences have been far better in the larger churches I've been involved with than the small churches I've been involved with. Also, I'm not even part of a large church now, so please don't think that I am defending them for my own sake.

By the way, I caught some of the new "American Gladiators" on NBC while writing this and they had one of the cheesiest lines ever. One of the gladiators is named "Justice," and when describing him, the commentator said, "Judge...Jury...Ginormous." I just thought that was funny enough to post.

Marco! ... Polo!

2008-01-17T23:55:00.000-05:00

One of the hardest parts of following Jesus is allowing him to take control of my life. As humans, we feel vulnerable and frightened by the idea of not being in control of what happens in life. We want to be the final say in all our decisions. We want our own desires to be the most important factor in making those decisions. We don't want to give up our own desires (no matter how good or bad they might be) for something else that we don't want as much. That is all part of the human nature. We need control over our own lives and, if we will admit it or not, we will fight to the death to keep that control.

This is the problem when we give our lives over to Jesus. By committing to follow Jesus, we are giving back to him the right to be the final say in our lives. We are asking him to lead us where we must go. We are asking him to show us how to live. We are asking him to tell us what to do and what not to do. By following Jesus, we are declaring that Jesus has the best life for us. Not the better life. Not an upgrade in life. The best life. We are saying that following Jesus is the best option for living. I could possibly live a decent life on my own (...maybe...), but following Jesus (as he guides me in life and teaches me how to live and love) is the best possible life I could find.

It's hard to let go of control and to hand that over to someone else. It's hard to give the "ultimate veto" power to someone else when it comes to your life decisions. However, this is the life that is chosen when someone commits to following Jesus. I think that a lot of us who follow Jesus tend to treat him as if he is following us. "Come here, Jesus. Come with me as I go here. Help me out when I need it. Thanks. No, Jesus, don't get ahead of me. Stay behind me and just follow where I go."

Have you ever played Marco Polo in someone's swimming pool? Most of us tend to treat Jesus as if he is the one who is "it." We want Jesus to close his eyes, continually yelling "marco," and we want him to keep following us and our movements as we yell "polo." I shouldn't have to explain why this is not the way it should be. We should be the ones who are "it." We should be the ones whose eyes are closed, not even able to see our next step in life. We should have to yell "MARCO," waiting in full anticipation of hearing a voice call back to us, "Polo," so that we can take a step in the voice's direction.

I write all this to say that I continually see this struggle within my own life. I was pondering why I so often don't completely follow Jesus and continually fall short of his message of loving God and others. Then, this question came to my mind, piercing my heart: If you won't follow Jesus in all areas of your life, in all circumstances, in loving people, in loving God, then do you really trust that Jesus has the best life for you? I hate to even think that, but I think that if each of us who follow Jesus would be honest with ourselves, we would each be shocked with our candid answer. I have to say that I don't always live like I trust Jesus to make the best decisions for me. I don't always live like I trust Jesus to come through for me. This is the struggle inside each of us who follow Jesus. This is the struggle that has to be faced, candidly and honestly, and has to be fought with ferocity and ruthlessness. Otherwise, this struggle will continue to gain ground in our lives.

Analyze your life. Analyze your decisions. Think through the areas of your life that don't line up with following Jesus, whatever they may be. Why are we not following Jesus in those areas? Why are we not loving those who get on your nerves? Why are we trying to find "love" or "acceptance" around every corner? Why are we gossiping about others? Why are we trying so hard to find happiness in all the wrong places? Could it be that we have not fully sold out to trusting Jesus? Could it be that we don't completely believe he will come through for us? Or that he holds the best life possible for us?

Live like you trust Jesus has the best life for you.

MARCO!!!!!!!!!!

Full life update...possible employment!

2008-01-16T19:09:00.000-05:00

I guess it's time to give the update about my attempts of finding work. When I moved down here, I knew that is what I needed to do, despite having no clear direction about what I would do for work when I got here. I knew that I finding work that I would really enjoy to do (such as being a worship pastor) would be hard to come by. Honestly, there just aren't many churches that fit my style of worship. Most churches still prefer the Billboard Top 100 from 1770, and even some more have updated to the 1980's now. My preference, as a musician, worshiper, and worship leader, is cutting-edge and modern. I wouldn't use Shakespearean English in my conversation just because it is "more elegant" or "more poetic." I would use the language that allows me to fully express myself to someone else. That is what most conveys my heart. The same exists in worship. I want to worship in a way that fully allows me to express my heart for God. For me, that is usually not found in centuries old language and diction that I sometimes have no clue what is being said (and is typically in the third person, not even addressed from us to God).

I'm way off topic here. I don't mean to get into any of that. I just mean to say that although I find appreciation for the centuries of songs that have allowed people to sing praises about God, I need something that expresses my own praises to God. Now back to my employment...

Knowing that I possibly wouldn't find work in a church around here, I started applying all sorts of places. I applied for tons of bank teller positions, coffee shops, and more. I was getting rejection after rejection. Apparently a college education means less than I thought. I was getting rather discouraged and worried that my savings would soon be gone.

Finally, in the first couple days of the new year, I received a call from Austin Porter, who is the student pastor at Hope Creek Church in Seneca, SC. We graduated together from SWU. He called to let me know that Thad Wood, the worship pastor at HCC, has announced that he will be leaving after being there for 5 years. (Thad graduated from SWU in 2005.) Austin had heard that I was moving back down to the area, and he and Thad put in my name as a candidate to replace Thad. Austin was calling to set up a lunch with him and the lead pastor, Travis Holmes. So, after meeting with them for lunch and at the office a couple times, I went to check out their Sunday morning service. They are completely portable and meet in Seneca High School's auditorium. They have to arrive at 7 am to unload and set up everything, including the sound system, children's areas, etc. So I went to see that whole process as well as the service. After seeing that whole process, the meetings with the staff, a couple lunches with Austin, and lots of prayer and thought, I have felt good about this move and think this is the next step in following God's path for me.

This coming Sunday, I will be leading worship alongside with Thad to give the church leadership a chance to hear me lead worship. As long as all are still peaceful and affirmed in the decision, I will be on staff as a full-time worship pastor soon after that.

Please pray for me as I prepare and lead this Sunday. Pray that God would be there and be glorified through the worship. Pray that each person involved in the decision will be guided by the Spirit to make the right decision. Pray that we will continue to seek God in each step. Pray for the transition for the church and for me as well. This will be my first "real job" as a worship pastor on staff. I'm totally excited but horribly overwhelmed with the thought of it.

In other news, I am going down to Alabama the weekend of Jan. 25-27 to do a worship workshop with a church outside Birmingham. Ashley Joiner (with whom I graduated from SWU) is in charge of worship there. Also, on February 23, I will be leading worship for a regional event called "Pure Focus." It's an all-day youth event promoting sexual purity. My housemate, Jon Brady, is the brains behind the whole thing. So far, youth groups from all over upstate SC and some from NC will be coming. It should be sweet!

That's life. Please pray for me as I look towards the future and what God has for me.

Huck & Chuck: Hilarious...

2008-01-11T15:36:00.000-05:00

Ever wondered how Mike Huckabee plans on securing the U.S. borders? Check out this video to find out.

Also, don't think that I am supporting Huckabee because I posted this video. I am not supporting any particular candidate right now. I've watched some of the debates and done a little research on them, but nothing detailed yet.

Also, another piece of advice for people (especially of my generation). It seems to be a considerable trend to quickly "like" Barack Obama because he's relatively young, new, different, a charismatic speaker, and seems to be the candidate most symbolizing change. Don't let that make your decision for you. Most people pick their music choices by what's "hot" that week (and most of it is no-talent pop garbage). Don't pick your candidate by what's "fresh" or "cooler" or what seems to be popular. Dig into their opinions, ideas, vision, and where they fall on the issues.

One more piece of advice. Christians, PLEASE don't vote solely on who is against abortion and same-sex marriages. Those issues are important, but there are far better matters to worry about (like health care reform, our declining economy, and MANY MORE). So, put down the proverbial pitchforks and fight for other causes too!

On my iPod: Jon Foreman - Fall EP

2008-01-10T12:07:00.000-05:00

Jon Foreman has been displaying his thoughts, emotions, doubts, fears, and joys for over a decade as the frontman for Switchfoot. Now, he is once again stretching himself on his first solo work, Fall. On this EP, Foreman is dropping the electric guitar and rock band for an acoustic guitar and folk flavor.

This is the first of four EPs that Foreman plans to release over the next year. Each will thematically correspond with the four seasons, attempting to capture the mood and feel of the season represented. This first attempt certainly did not fall short, consistently conveying a melancholy and pensive mood in both music and lyrics. The songs stay relatively simple, keeping with the typical folk genre, coupling that with contemplative and brutally honest lyrics.

Although folk music is typically a lot simpler by form, Foreman has done a great job of writing a thought-provoking and musically-talented work. In addition to the acoustic guitar, Foreman has a variety of other instruments used on this EP. "The Cure for Pain" uses some keys and brass, bringing more life to the track. "Southbound Train" has its own unique sound with the use of a harmonica and strings, sometimes simulating the sound of a moving locomotive. "The Moon is a Magnet" is a great song, coupling Foreman's voice with a clarinet and bass clarinet. The EP ends with a sensitive piano ballad, "My Love Goes Free." In this heart-wrenching track, Foreman stretches his own voice to its limits, utilitizing his falsetto to wring the heart of the listener.

Released on November 27, 2007, the first of the four EPs is a great work in acoustic folk music. In only six tracks, Foreman has re-sold me onto his bandwagon (leaving the bandwagon after being disappointed by the 2005 release of the Nothing is Sound album by Switchfoot). I will be looking forward to the next three projects. Winter is set to hit the market soon on January 15, 2008, packaged together with Fall EP as a 2-disc set. Spring is projected to come out on April 15, 2008. Summer's date is not announced yet.

Genre/Style: Acoustic/Folk

Discography:
Fall EP, 2007 [Credential]
Winter EP, coming January 15, 2008 [Credential]
Spring EP, projected April 2008 [Credential]
Summer EP, projected summer 2008 [Credential]

Website:
www.jonforeman.com

What I Like Most:

Use of variety of instruments
Brutally honest yet cryptic lyrics
Unique theme for each EP

The Heels are doing it again!

2008-01-10T00:42:00.000-05:00

Tonight, the Carolina Tar Heels finished up their last non-conference game, winning over UNC-Asheville, 93-81. This is the first time they have finished non-conference games undefeated since 1998.

Even the tallest player in college basketball couldn't stop "Psycho T" from scoring 23 points, including a two-handed dunk over UNC-Asheville's 7-foot-7 Kenny George. You can go here to read the whole article.

The Heels have proven themselves once again by their 16-0 record (with 1 win in-conference). Although Clemson stood a good chance of taking the win, the Heels took the lead, with 0.4 seconds left in overtime! It was amazing to see Ellington on fire that game, scoring a career-high 36 points (including the literal last second 3-point shot for the win in overtime). The boys are doing it again and it's quite exciting to watch! I'm hoping that the Clemson game is not a preview of the remaining ACC games. My heart can't take that every game!

Keep it up, Roy's Boys!

On my iPod: Deas Vail

2008-01-08T17:43:00.000-05:00

This is a band that I doubt many know. I have to give credit to Benji for finding them and introducing me to them. Releasing their freshman album in March 2007, Deas Vail has set the bar high for themselves on All the Houses Look the Same. This is quite the piece of art.

Their sound is quite similar to that of Mae, although unique from Mae as well. Deas Vail's keys-driven rock possibly could be described as powerfully gentle. Their sometimes haunting and other times lullaby-esque piano-driven melodies combined with Wes Blaylock's classically-trained voice are elegant yet passionate. Add on top of that the drive of guitar, bass, and Kelsey Harelson's unique rhythms on drums and you have a band that will gain a huge following in no time!

One of the most outstanding features of Deas Vail is Blaylock's voice and use of falsetto. His range is phenomenal and, on top of that, his unwavering falsetto is unbelievable. Lead singers rarely have or at least rarely utilize such beautiful falsetto like Blaylock does. It is definitely one of the features of Deas Vail's music that sets it apart from the mass of generic rock.

Although Blaylock's voice is so remarkable, it doesn't have to carry this band. Their instrumentals are great. They have a variety of keys, synths, and pads sounds and rhythms in each song, as well as great rhythms on the drummers. Some rhythms remind me of Thrice's drummer (just not quite as intense).

Another striking feature that is quite uncommon in today's rock music is their female band member, Laura Beth Hudson Blaylock (her and lead singer Wes got married last spring around the same time as the album release). Since Evanescence lead singer Amy Lee came on the music scene, there has been a recent trend of pushing bands with female lead singers (Flyleaf, Fireflight, etc.) in heavy rock music. However, this is quite a different situation with a female band member that is not the "frontman" of the band. Deas Vail is not heavy rock and she's not a vocalist.

I have not had the opportunity to see Deas Vail live, and would REALLY appreciate it if they would come near South Carolina soon!!! However, if this YouTube video is a good representation of their show, they are a band that only gets better in a live venue compared to a produced CD. I can't wait to see them someday!

Genre/Style: Indie Rock

Band Members:
Wes Blaylock - Vocals/Keys
Laura Beth Hudson Blaylock - Keys/Synth
Jonathan Childs - Bass
Kelsey Harelson - Drums
Andy Moore - Guitar

Discography:
All the Houses Look the Same, 2007 [Brave New World]
Collapse EP, 2006 [Brave New World]
This Place is Painted Red, 2005 [independent]

Website:
www.deasvail.com

What I Like Most About Them:

Wes Blaylock's voice and flawless falsetto
Interesting and unique melodies
Keys-driven music that is still powerful and intense

Psychology of... Women?

2008-01-08T01:14:00.000-05:00

My dad has been going back to school to get his undergrad degree that will correspond with his career in mental health work. This semester, one of his classes is titled "Psychology of Women." Let that sink in for awhile.

So... how do you logically study that which is illogical?

Just kidding, feminists. I don't completely believe you're illogical.

When told the title of this class, my ambassador to the species of women summed up the psychology of women in one sentence:

We have no idea what we want.

How true. This picture has also given some visual aid to the psychology of women.

So... where do you want to eat?

My current mind...in list form

2008-01-07T17:03:00.000-05:00

Here's an update about life and what's on my mind...in a list form.

I hate dealing with student loans! I've been looking through student loan statements attempting to figure out consolidation options and if I can handle payments. Budgeting is not fun...
The RA's are back at SWU for training, so that means Kindel is only 10 minutes down the road now!
The cable and internet is awesome and convenient. No more living out of coffee shops. However, the cable guy installed a basic digital box instead of the DVR that we paid for! What bummer! We're calling them soon!
I enjoyed the New Hampshire Presidential Debate. Some of the candidates definitely showed their rear on national television. I'm still not decided, but I do like some of the ideas and policies that some candidates presented. However, there's no way to know if they will stick to their policies and promises. Keep praying for discernment.
I'm facing major life decisions right now with employment (and what that will do to seminary). I think I know what I should do. However, I keep letting other people's opinions and expectations of me get in the way of that. I need to stop worrying about what other people think or say about MY decisions when I'm not around. I need not to make decisions for their approval. I need to make decisions for God's approval. I need to make decisions so that I can go to sleep at night knowing I've done my best to follow after God today. When it gets to the end of the day, I'm not here to impress others or follow what they think is best for me. I'm here to do what God has for me and use whatever God has placed in my hands and heart to do.
I can't WAIT to get back into playing music, being creative, and worshiping Jesus through song!
Jack's getting married on Saturday, which means I get to see Jack and my boys from Kentucky!!! Yay!!!
Although she won't admit it, Kindel is addicted to Heroes! I'm getting her through Season 1 on DVD. She can't stand the cliffhangers at the end of each episode. It's great watching the season again now that season 2 is halfway done.
3:10 to Yuma comes out on DVD tomorrow! Definitely a new addition to the collection!
There's a new sound coming from what I think is my car's suspension. Not good...

On My iPod: Mute Math

2008-01-05T20:17:00.000-05:00

Since joining the Mute Math fan base in 2005, these guys have been at the top of my charts. In fact, they are beyond a doubt my favorite band. Period. If you listen to anything I ever say about music, this is it. Get their CD. Go to their show. Buy their DVD.
The four-piece is made up of: Paul Meany (vocals/keytar/Rhodes/other keys/more), Darren King (drums), Greg Hill (guitar/keys), and Roy Mitchell-Cardenas (bass).

Stepping on the scene in 2004, these guys have been making a name for themselves. They can best be described as experimental electro-alt rock. They use an eclectic range of instruments, electronics, and sounds. Lead singer Paul Meany sports a keytar for many songs, as well as playing the beautiful sounds of a vintage Fender Rhodes Mark II 73-key stage piano. On one song ("Break the Same"), King breaks down his drum set and the group goes on a crazy percussive breakdown while Hill goes nuts with his Ibanez DE7 (Delay/Echo) pedal, making insane and intense sounds. However, the group takes a sedative on "Stall Out" as all four of them start the song playing different parts and sounds on separate pianos and keyboards. By the way, "Stall Out" is, by far, my favorite song by them. It's a beautiful song with a beautiful message.
I have had the chance to see these guys live twice, both times in Atlanta. Beyond their music, they put on the best live performance I have ever seen...ever. The energy level is high and stays high. Their show is flawless and non-stop, blending songs together with interludes. They have the most amazing stage presence. For video clips of a live performance, please check out their DVD, titled "Flesh and Bones Electric Fun" or search the DVD title on YouTube to find clips. It is worth every dollar to buy it!
For their discography, search iTunes for their self-titled CD. You can also find the "Transformers Theme" that they re-did for the 2007 blockbuster movie.

What I Like Most About Them:

Paul Meany's voice!!! I'm on the verge of sinning out of jealousy!
Beautiful melodies
Creative & experimental sounds
Rhodes Stage Piano...there's nothing like it!
Best stage presence & performance
Thought-provoking spiritual lyrics

For those connected to the SWU community

2008-01-04T18:58:00.001-05:00

I post this here for anyone who is connected with SWU. If you have not heard already, Furman Scott Armstrong, more well known at SWU as F.A., was killed early this morning by a gun shot from an intruder.

You can read more about this tragedy here:
http://www.wyff4.com/news/14978561/detail.html?rss=gs&psp=news

Please pray for F.A.'s family, especially for his twin brother, Jamar. Be praying for the SWU community as well.

Goals for 2008

2008-01-04T15:16:00.000-05:00

So here's my own list of goals and changes for 2008. It's not an exhaustive list, but this is what I'm thinking so far. These are listed in no particular order.

To find a job!!! - This isn't really an annual goal. It's more like a NOW goal!
To continue learning piano - I want to start learning songs by modern artists (Coldplay, Copeland, Mae, The Fray, etc.)
To write at least one full song - I will have to write at least the piano and guitar parts, as well as vocals
To read at least 20 books - I have to read the book through for it to count. My textbooks can count, but only if I read them through, not just selected readings.
To do at least 20 things I've never done before - I doubt many of these will be too dangerous or crazy, but who knows. I'll post the list as I come up with these 20 things.
To post on the blog more times this year than all prior posts - I've posted 102 times over 2005, 2006, and 2007. Now it's time for 2008 to be a good year of blogging!
To lose 50 pounds - I've put on too much weight over the past couple years. This year is the year to do something about it.
To be able to run 5 miles non-stop - I used to be able to do this a couple years ago.
To give up sugar sodas - I went over 2 months last summer without sugar sodas. 12 months will be crazy for me! I can still have diet sodas though!

I also have some goals that are not quite able to be measured tangibly like these previous ones. They aren't quite as tangible goals, but they are some of the most important ones.

To become a better follower of Jesus - Following Jesus requires all areas of life. I want to see more surrender in my life this year as I follow Jesus' example.
To love people more like Jesus - I want to be better this year at treating everyone with respect and dignity. I want to love people more like Jesus loves them...unconditionally. That's humanly impossible, but all things are possible with the Spirit's work.
To keep falling in love with a beautiful woman, Kindel - She has been one of the best things that happened in my life. I don't want that to end, but, instead, to only get better. I want to continually get to know her better, remind her how beautiful she is, and show her how much she means to me.
To never take for granted the people in my life - I hope to continually love and serve all the people in my life. I want to learn all I can from them and hope to become a better person because of them, as well as hoping to help them be better people.

So that's about it. I'll make sure to have update posts on here about how I'm doing with my 2008 goals. If I have to report to other people how I'm doing, maybe I will be more motivated to get them done! Any encouragement is more than welcome!

By the way, I'm writing this post from my house in Liberty! We had our cable and internet installed today! Wonderful yet expensive commodities!

Funniest Wesleyan Joke Heard

2008-01-03T18:23:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I can't take credit for this joke. I didn't come up with it. I just heard it tonight. However, it is the most hilarious yet sadly true joke about the Wesleyan Church.

How many Wesleyans does it take to change a light bulb?

CHANGE?!?! My great-granddaddy put in that light bulb! We can't change that! You gonna split this church in half!!!

Too true...sadly true...

If you have ABSOLUTELY nothing else to do...

2007-12-30T16:49:00.000-05:00

So, since getting my MacBook, I've had some fun messing around with GarageBand. Over the summer, I bought a M-Audio 73-key USB keyboard to go along with GarageBand. For Christmas, I had my parents buy an expansion pack of sounds for the program, including some vintage keybaord sounds (Rhodes, Wurlitzers, Hammand Organs, etc.). I've posted some of my boredom adventures on myspace. If you have nothing else to do, you can check them out here.

On there, I have three recordings I did on GarageBand. Each one has at least two tracks that I laid down. The drums on "Random Night on GarageBand" is a loop. "First Attempt at GarageBand" is a mix of three recordings using the built-in microphone (two guitar tracks and one djembe track) with two software tracks played on the keyboard (piano and synth pad). "Jazz Improv" was a two-track recording that I did in May 2005 (long before my MacBook) for a class project. The live recording is a SWU chapel worship set that I led in April 2007.

If you have any comments on the raw recordings, let me know. Thanks for taking the time.

The "Cotton Candy Gospel" of Joel Osteen

2007-12-29T13:39:00.000-05:00

Recently, I saw a re-airing of an episode of 60 Minutes in which they did a segment on Joel Osteen. Joel Osteen is the lead pastor of the largest church in America, Lakewood Church, located in Houston. They meet each Sunday in a 15,000 seat sports arena (which took $100 million to renovate when it was given to the church).

You can watch the segment and read the whole interview here on CBS's website.

What made me enjoy this segment most was the words of Rev. Michael Horton, a professor of theology at Westminster Seminary in Escondido, California. He has this to say about Joel Osteen's message:

I think it’s a cotton candy gospel. His core message is: God is nice, you’re nice, be nice. If it were a form of music, I think it would be easy listening. He uses the Bible like a fortune cookie. 'This is what’s gonna happen for you.' 'There’s gonna be a windfall in your life tomorrow.' The Bible's not meant to be read that way... It is certainly heresy, I believe, to say that God is our resource for getting our best life now. Well, it makes religion about us instead of about God.

Thank you, Rev. Horton!

Even the interviewer, Bryan Pitts, says this of Osteen:

Osteen preaches his own version of what is known as the "prosperity gospel" -- that God is a loving, forgiving God who will reward believers with health, wealth and happiness. It's the centerpiece of every sermon.

Read this excerpt from the interview:

But the real money for Osteen comes from his book sales, which are re-packaged versions of his sermons. His latest book, "Become A Better You," for which he reportedly got a $13 million advance, debuted in October at number one on the New York Times bestseller list and has stayed on the list ever since. The book lays out seven principles he believes will improve our lives.

"To become a better you, you must be positive towards yourself, develop better relationships, embrace the place where you are. Not one mention of God in that. Not one mention of Jesus Christ in that," Pitts remarks.

"That's just my message. There is scripture in there that backs it all up. But I feel like, Byron, I'm called to help people…how do we walk out the Christian life? How do we live it? And these are principles that can help you. I mean, there’s a lot better people qualified to say, 'Here’s a book that going to explain the scriptures to you.' I don’t think that’s my gifting," Osteen says.

What I really want to understand is if Osteen believes he is NOT gifted to explain the scriptures to people, then why the heck is he pastoring thousands of people and taking on the responsibility of teaching all of them each week from the living Word?!?! The pastor who preaches regularly is responsible to be the one person in that community of people who is most trained in understanding the Scriptures as deeply as possible, so as to be able to correctly explain them for the chance that those listening would take those Scriptures to heart and live them out. The pastor is to be the local theologian for those people. The pastor is to give his life and time to doing his best to understand the Scriptures and correctly lead people to those truths in order to see life transformation. If he KNOWS he is not gifted and trained in doing that, then stop! By saying he knows he's not gifted in that, Osteen has completely negated his own authority to use Scripture for teaching. So he might as well just become some life coach or Dr. Phil. The only thing that would change about his message is he would stop twisting the few verses of Scripture that he's ever read and used.

I'm not claiming that anyone else has the understanding of Scripture down. If that was so, how do we explain the two thousand years of conflicting ideas about interpretational issues? I certainly don't believe that I have it down. Far from it, in fact. I am a student of the Scriptures and I will die a student as well. However, I also know that I am a servant of the Scriptures. Osteen treats the Scripture as if it is there to serve him in supporting his self-help campaign. He treats it as if it, along with God himself, are here to serve us. He would be better suited to be a writer for a fortune cookie company than take on teaching the Scriptures.

I know that all my understandings of God and the Scriptures are not completely right. There are other traditions of theology and beliefs within Christianity that have valid beliefs and understandable interpretations of Scripture to lead them there. I can accept that, loving them as brothers and sisters under the same Jesus. However, there come some who do completely pervert the Gospel message of servanthood and humility and make it about gaining wealth and prosperity. That sort of obvious twisting of the Gospel can not be validated as just another sect of Christian interpretation. That is a complete disregard for who Jesus was, what Jesus did in GIVING all of himself for humanity, and what Jesus taught us to do (follow him and his example of servanthood). Listen to Jesus' teaching to his disciples in Mark 8:34-36, right after Jesus taught that he must suffer and die soon.

And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?" (ESV)

This doesn't sound like the Jesus of Osteen's gospel. This is the Jesus who said, "I must give everything I have for those who don't deserve it because I love them. Now, if you want to follow me, you must live like me." We have to understand that when Jesus asked them to "follow me," that was a loaded statement! That wasn't simply, "Walk behind me." It wasn't even just, "Walk with me and worship me." It was, "I'm going to give all of me for you. Go and do likewise." Paul understood this as well. Listen to these words from Philippians 2:3-8.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross! (NIV)

That is the Gospel message. God who came down from all glory and honor to give it all away in a horrible, human death for the sake of all humanity. God who asks those who follow Him to follow His example of sacrifice and servanthood. That is the beautiful yet arduous Gospel.

What's New About Your New Year?

2007-12-28T14:44:00.000-05:00

So what's the use of celebrating the coming of a new year unless it is a milestone for reflecting on the past year and the starting line for new beginnings in your life? If the only part of life that changes with the new year is throwing away your wall calendar to replace it with a new one, then why celebrate the new year? There is no reason to set aside time to recognize the beginning of a new year if all that changes is the genre of pictures on your wall calendar!

John Wesley recognized this, seeing the importance of utilizing this celebration for reflection and re-commitment. Starting this tradition in 1755, Wesley called the service a "Covenant Service." It was typically held on either New Year's Eve or the first Sunday of the new year. It was a service specifically meant to aid in reflecting on the past year, seeing what needs to change, and rededicating the whole of one's life to God.

I'm not the biggest believer that just because someone else did it in church history, we should. I'm the last person to ever say, "That's how we've always done it," as reasoning for doing something. Tradition is good to look at and glean from, but not in the least amount imperative to use. However, in my opinion, there is much to glean from Wesley's tradition of the "Covenant Service."

This comes down to more than New Year's Resolutions and just trying to better oneself. This goes beyond mere self-improvement tapes and "7 Habits to a Sucessful Life" junk. This goes farther than Joel Osteen's "fortune cookie" way of using the Bible as a self-help manual. This goes to the depth of our souls as we understand that we are not our own, but are God's. We are His servants and owe Him every part of our lives for His use. This is why we need to take time like this to reflect, re-evaluate, and re-focus with new goals, dreams, and passions for the coming year. It is taught throughout scripture that each arena of life (physical, mental, emotional, social, etc.) is a part of one's spirituality and one's striving towards holiness. All those parts matter to God. Since we are creatures of forgetfulness and distraction, we have to take time out of our busy lives to evaluate where we've been, where we are, and where we want to be. Even more than where, we need to evaluate who we've been, who we are, and who we want to be.

Take time over these next few days to pray and think through this. Take extra time to evaluate this past year. Think about what you've done. Celebrate your successes and relationships with others. Mourn your mistakes and shortcomings. Think on who you've been. Take joy in your growth as a person and your discipline to become more like Jesus. However, recall your selfishness and tendencies to fall back into self-centered desires. Learn from all of this and look forward to this coming year. How do you want to be different? How do you want to walk closer with the Spirit every day? How do you want to serve instead of take? How do you want to love instead of hate? Think about each area of your life (physical, mental, emotional, social). These parts are a part of your spirit as well. When these areas of your life are marked by balance and discipline, your spiritual life begins to take on better balance and discipline as well. Measure yourself up in each of these areas.

Let these not be merely new year's resolutions, but commitments made in a covenant with God.

Settling in the New Residence

2007-12-27T16:18:00.000-05:00

I'm finally settling in down here in Liberty, SC. It was crazy trying to move my life down here and having to gear up for Christmas festivities at the same time. I made it though! I'm now settled in my house, living with Brady. It's quite fun so far. It will be even more fun when SWU starts back up. Then, we'll have more friends close by, and especially because Kindel will be less than 10 minutes away instead of 45 minutes away in Westminster. Here's a couple pictures of the house:

This is the living room. Yes, I know what you're thinking. You are in love with the fake wood wall paneling. I know. You're jealous. Ha... Brady and I are going to hook up extra car subwoofers (two 10" subs) into our sound system. I think the wood paneling will blow off the walls when we do that!

This is my growing DVD collection. For Christmas, I received:
- House - Season 3 (completing my House collection!!!)
- Scrooged
- Gladiator (3-Disc Extended Edition)
- Hamlet (2-Disc Edition)...This is NOT Mel Gibson's version. This is the good version done by Kenneth Branagh (4-hours long and GOOD)

This is the office room. Brady's section is on the left and mine on the right. Here's a closer look at my side:
I finally have two bookshelves to store my books on. And I still have a space for some music stuff. Thanks to Benji for the free desk! Much appreciated!

This is a picture of my floor lamp in my bedroom. I was planning to take more pictures of my room after this one. However, my camera broke. After a dreadful fall to the ground while the lens was out and unprotected, the camera cannot move the lens in and out very easily to focus. The sound of broken things inside makes me assume that the teeth of gears that move the lens back and forth are broken. This was quite a sad day. Now, I have yet another expense to take on whenever I get a job.

Other news in my life:

I'm reading Authentic Spirituality by Barry L. Callen. I read portions of it for a class in my undergrad, but I wanted to read the whole thing this time. It's not an enjoyable read so far, but it is informative.
I joined the Central-Clemson Rec Center a couple days ago. I'm starting a new routine of lifting and running again. I'll need encouragement to get back into it. The first month is the hardest!
Health insurance is expensive. Period.
I saw I Am Legend twice. It was remarkably good! If you have read the book, you might hate the movie. To pull a random number out of the air, it is only about 5-10% like the book. That's it. However, Will Smith is one of my favorite actors ever and he has again proven himself in this film! If only they could burn Wild Wild West and act like he never did that one...
I really want a hybrid Civic! I rode in Phil Pranger's hybrid Civic a few days ago and loved it! I hope I can get one in a couple years!
I'm looking forward to 2008! More on that in a post coming soon!
I miss the Wilmore guys! I'm looking forward to seeing you guys in a few weeks at Jack's wedding!

That's all for now. I'm tired of the coffee shop and am going home to find food. Until next time!

Apologies to my readers....or reader...

2007-12-24T16:06:00.000-05:00

To the few of you who frequent my blog, my apologies for not posting for quite some time. I moved from Kentucky to South Carolina a couple days after my last post. In Kentucky, I had internet access at the house, but Brady and I have not ordered cable and internet services yet. Without that access, my internet usage is limited to coffee shops and Panera Bread, which is where I am right now. It's hard to sit down in a coffee shop and collect all my thoughts for a blog, especially since I am usually not alone when I go there. After Christmas has come and gone, we will pick up our search for getting internet service at the house. Then, I will be able to pick up the pace and start blogging regularly. I hope to make blogging a daily practice, hoping that I can post about something interesting and at least not mundane each day. We shall see.

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you have time to spend with family and all whom you love over this season! I pray that you experience the work of God's Spirit in your life in a refreshing way!

Housemates' Christmas Portraits

2007-12-10T22:31:00.000-05:00

SWU boys. Free time. Trip to Goodwill. Tacky Christmas sweaters. Mmm...

So, yet again, a trip to Goodwill has paid off in quite some laughs. You can view the full photo album here on Facebook, but here is a glimpse at a few of them for your laughing pleasure. I hope it brightens your day...

Bear Grylls - A Man Among Mere Boys

2007-12-09T15:51:00.000-05:00

Bear Grylls is the man. Over the past couple years, I have become a regular watcher of "Man vs. Wild" on Discovery Channel. On this show, Bear is dropped off into remote regions of the world and shows how to survive the hardest predicaments in each area. He's been through rain forests, jungles, arctic tundras, the glaciers of Alaska, deserts (including the Sahara), the Outback of Australia, Patagonia, deserted islands, the Alps, the Rockies, Mount Everest, and more.

"Bear" Grylls (real name: Edward Michael Grylls) did not start out in the media, however. Bear served in the British Special Forces, where he was trained in unarmed combat, desert and winter warfare, combat survival, medics, parachuting, signals, evasive driving, climbing and explosives. However, after three years, his service in the Special Forces ended abruptly with a parachuting accident while serving in North Africa. When his parachute ripped, Bear dropped to the ground from 16,000 feet at twice the normal speed. He broke three vertebrae in his back. (This paragraph's information can be found here.)

Two years after this incident and severe physical rehabilitation, Bear completed his childhood dream at the age of 23 by becoming the youngest British climber to make it to the summit of Mount Everest and come back alive. In the coming years, Bear, along with his team from the Everest climb, circumnavigated the British Isles in a jet ski and led the first unassisted crossing of the frozen North Atlantic Ocean in an inflatable boat! Bear went on to set more world records by eating a three-course meal at a table suspended a hot air balloon at 24,500 feet in the air and then flying over Mount Everest in a powered paraglider. (This paragraph's information can be found here.)

Just as a sidenote to those who think Bear Grylls is inferior to Les Stroud, better known as "Survivorman" from the show by the same name. Look at it this way.
Bear Grylls, by trade: Special Forces soldier, all-terrain and all-climate combat survivor, mountaineer, adventurer.
Les Stroud, by trade: Canadian musician and film maker.
I will admit that Les Stroud has done some amazing survival feats, but his credentials are nothing compared to Bear Grylls.

Beyond the fact that Bear is the epitome of manliness, I am also a fan of Bear for his openness about his Christian faith. This is rare to find when people are public figures. Recently, I was watching Bear's recent episode of Man vs. Wild when he was in Patagonia, the most southern area of South America. After building a fire, he was sitting down at the end of the day and said this (I left out the conversational "you know's" and "and's"):

I think the magic of places like this is that everything slows down and life becomes much more rural. Those things that keep you going in life suddenly become much more prominent. For me, certainly that's my Christian faith. [It] is a big part of that and it's helped me through so many difficult and often quite lonely times. For me, that's my backbone, I think.

This was great to hear. Again, while discussing how he prepares for doing each episode, this quote comes from a post on Bear's blog:

The final part of the equation is my Christian faith…I look at this as the thread that binds all these other elements together. I pray daily for my family and we also have little quiet times together, and I pray hard when out filming for safety, good judgement and for protection in all the dangers.

He discusses again the importance of his Christian faith here on his website. Also, Bear lists some Christian books in his Top 10 books list, as well as mentions Mother Teresa and John Wesley in his Top 10 people with whom he wants to have dinner.

I already had tons of respect for Bear as a "manly man," but now, I respect him even more for having such influence as a public figure and still being open about his Christian faith. What a true picture of what the Christian man should be: not necessarily the eating raw animals and drinking water from camel dung, but the mixture of adventure and strength with humility and dependence on God.

It [Christian faith] feels like the rock in my life and it has taken me a long time to no longer be afraid to say that. But I have learnt that it takes a proud man to say he needs nothing.
:: Bear Grylls

Photo of Bear Grylls from here

The City: Weeping Over the City

2007-12-08T20:26:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since writing a post in my "The City" series, but I guess I'll write a new installment.

In Luke’s gospel we find a glimpse of Jesus’ heart for the city, specifically Jerusalem.

As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it [Luke 19:41]

I could imagine Jesus coming towards Jerusalem, and while at a distance, he sees the cityscape of Jerusalem and weeps for it. He goes on in the next few verses to explain that he wishes the people of Jerusalem knew “the things that make for peace,” but now it was hidden from them and soon destruction would come for Jerusalem.

Jesus wasn’t weeping for the city itself. He wasn’t weeping for the buildings, or the city walls, or even the temple itself. He was weeping for the people! He was weeping for these people who needed redemption. He was weeping for these people who couldn’t save themselves from coming destruction. He was weeping for the masses.

When have we taken on this part of Jesus’ character? When have we taken on a compassion for people that runs so deep that we cannot help but weep for them? The very word compassion comes from Latin words meaning, “to suffer together.” Jesus was so broken inside for these people and their situation that He wept openly. Not only that, but He also did something about it. He didn’t come to solve their problems of coming physical destruction, but He did come to solve their problems of spiritual destruction. Are we moved in our spirits so deeply that we are moved to action for the masses? Are we moved beyond mere sadness for others to compassion for others? Sadness and pity doesn’t move people and doesn’t solve problems; compassion moves people and loves people.

When was the last time you looked over your community, or walked down its main streets, seeing those less fortunate than yourself and those who do not have the love of Jesus in their lives? When was the last time you thought about those in your community or city and wept over their problems, whatever they might be? Even more, when was the last time you were moved to action through compassion for those people? When have you helped to bring the love of Jesus to them, even in the most tangible ways?

This is what it means to have a heart for the city, to weep over the city, to love the city for Jesus, wherever you might live. Last year on Christmas day, I worked at a homeless shelter for the evening. It was a great time for me. It wasn’t nearly what I should be doing to give to others, but it was a start. As we approach the Christmas season, let’s celebrate Jesus coming to us in flesh by being “Jesus in flesh” to someone else. Give more than you get. Go “suffer together” with those who suffer.

God's Will for Your Life

2007-12-05T22:16:00.000-05:00

If you scan through any Christian book store, which I personally vow to rarely set foot in, you will probably find a collection of books claiming to help you "find God's will for your life." They say that the Bible has the answers to finding God's will for your life and they have figured out the formula to finding it. One book a few years ago claimed that if you prayed an obscure prayer from an obscure reference in the Old Testament, and prayed this prayer every day, God would guide you the way you should go.

They set up formulas as if God's will is an algebra equation that can be solved for "x." If you do A, B, and C, God will reveal His plan for your life. If you believe A and B, practice C and D daily, and practice E weekly, God will guide your steps to your destined job or mate. God is being understood as this entity that can be charted on a chalkboard and understood using formulas and graphs. I say this because I, too, was one of these ignorant followers.

As life has continually moved forward (as it typically does...), I have begun to understand that God cannot be put on chalkboards and figured out in equations. Within that truth is truth about God's will for each of us. God's will for our lives cannot be solved as you would undertake solving for "x" in algebra class. You can't manipulate the numbers to show you the answer you want to see.

For starters, our idea of "God's will for my life" is out of order. As I read through the Scriptures, I do not see this individualized view of God's will. God's will is for humanity before it is ever about you or me personally. American culture has individualized everything. We cannot see past our own hand in front of our face in broad daylight! God is interested in communities, cultures, and humanity as a whole. We have made God into "MY personal savior" instead of the Savior and King of Creation, and we have begun to believe we are the center of His life. We see God as our personal healer, personal guide, personal mentor, personal sacrifice for our personal sins, personal match-maker, personal job-hunter, etc. When did God become our personal assistant?

So...God's will for my life? What does that question conjure up in your mind? What job should I have? Who should I marry? Where should I live? Should I talk to "so-and-so" about Jesus? Should I play soccer next year? Should I do this major in school? These are the questions that we wrestle with in our late teen and twentysomething years. These are the questions to which we want answers! These are the questions that matter and we want to know what God thinks. I think most of us genuinely want to know God's will in these matters so we can serve Him best. I think most of us have valid reason to want to know because we see these as life-altering decisions (well, most of them can be).

I want to suggest to you, however, that these questions are not necessarily the forefront questions of God's will for your life. These are not the questions we should be concerning ourselves with when it comes to asking God what to do. I believe we are missing something. If these issues were the biggest issues dealing with God's will in our lives, wouldn't God have orchestrated the Scriptures to help guide us in making these decisions? Wouldn't God have shown us how to ask for God's will in these situations? Wouldn't stories from the Gospels, Acts, and Paul's exhortations been more closely focused around these issues if they were the center of God's will for our lives?

However, this is not the case. God does not teach us how to ask about God's will in our career moves, sport selection, course selection, city of residence, etc. We do not see stories of people asking God to show them if they should be a plumber instead of a carpenter. Sorry, it doesn't happen. Just to add to all of this, most of the second person pronouns (you, your, etc.) that you find in Jesus' teaching and the letters of the New Testaments are plural, NOT to individuals.

So you want to know what the New Testament teaches about God's will for your life? Let's go to 1 Thessalonians 4:3:

For this is the will of God, your sanctification...

There it is. Paul goes on for the next few verses giving a list of some of the attributes of what that sanctification looks like. This is it. Want to know God's will for your life? Strive to be like Jesus. It answers all of your questions!

Who should I marry? Strive to love like Jesus
What occupation should I do? Strive to serve like Jesus
Where should I live? Strive to live wherever you are like Jesus

If you take the time to dig into this truth, you will begin to see that this IS the core of God's will for your life. You see, if your life is being spent to become a true follower of Jesus (learning and obeying his teachings as well as living dependent on the Spirit), you will find the other questions either "fall in line" or "fall away." It is through this striving for a holy life that we are able to make these other decisions. Could this be why Paul says in Romans 12:2:

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God--what is good and acceptable and perfect.

It is THROUGH our transformation from wretched to holy that we are able to answer the other questions of life. However, it must be understood that those questions are not the forefront of the issue. Who you marry, where you work, where you live, and what you eat for breakfast tomorrow are not the biggest issues. Striving for holiness through obedient love to God is the biggest issue. After that, everything else will be better understood.

So don't waste your money buying the books and don't waste your time trying the formulas of pray, fast, and repeat. That's not the heart of the matter. The heart of the matter is you putting your questions aside to wholeheartedly seek after Jesus and strive to become like Him.

Favorite Christmas/Winter Songs

2007-12-03T20:24:00.000-05:00

Over the last couple weeks, I've been putting lots of hours on the roads between Kentucky, South Carolina, and North Carolina. I've also been driving my dad's truck because I borrowed it to tow a U-Haul trailer in a couple weeks. Unfortunately, I've had to listen to the radio because I can't plug in my iPod to it and I don't own any CDs anymore (it's all digital now). Since it's December, all the radio stations have been playing hours of Christmas music. Although much of it is quite obnoxious, I do enjoy some of it. So I decided to make a Top 10 list of my personal favorite Christmas/Winter songs (since some don't technically fit in the Christmas category).

Do You Hear What I Hear? - words and music written by Noel Regney and Gloria Shayne
O Come All Ye Faithful - written by John Francis Wade in Latin (Adeste Fideles)
Carol of the Bells - music by Mykola Dmytrovych Leontovych and English lyrics by Peter Wilhousky
Baby, It's Cold Outside - words and music by Frank Loesser
Let It Snow - words by Sammy Cahn and music by Jule Styne
O Come, O Come Emmanuel - origins unclear; English translation from Latin by John Mason Neale
My December - written by Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park (not a traditional Christmas/Winter song, but it's good!)
O Holy Night - original French poem by Placide Cappeau; carol composed by Adolphe Adam
Little Drummer Boy - words and music by Katherine K. Davis
Silent Night - original German lyrics by Josef Mohr and music by Franz X. Gruber

What's your favorite?

NT Scholar's Take on Rob Bell

2007-11-12T01:21:00.000-05:00

When I first read Rob Bell's book, Velvet Elvis, I read through it thinking, "This is great stuff. This really connects and has powerful connections between Jesus and placing Him back in the Jewish culture in which He spoke." However, I also thought, "I wonder how accurate this guy is on all this Jewish culture stuff. I wonder what a scholar would say about this book."

Just a couple months ago, I ran across just that. If you have read Velvet Elvis (or are interested in Rob Bell at all for that matter), please read through this blog post from Ben Witherington's blog. Dr. Witherington is a NT scholar and professor at Asbury Theological Seminary and is currently my professor for NT722 Exegesis of Romans. He has some interesting takes on Bell's book Velvet Elvis and the accuracy of Bell's reading of the first century Jewish culture. Witherington's basic conclusion on Bell is overall very positive, but still questions the accuracy of Bell's knowledge of ancient cultures.

Love...without the mention of war

2007-11-11T16:01:00.000-05:00

This morning, I went to worship at Southland Christian Church in Lexington, KY. This church is phenomenal! They have a size that rivals NewSpring (to give a comparison for those of my South Carolina friends) and at least as big of a heart if not bigger! The church is full of loving and compassionate people who are striving to live out a life of love for Jesus and humanity. I love the messages given by the senior pastor, Jon Weece. He truly has a passion and heart for serving Jesus and loving the people of this city and also around the world.

This Sunday particularly blew me away as he admitted to the struggle that he had in preparing this message. He said he struggled around three words in the book of Matthew and couldn't get away from them enough to write the message. He talked of the words that Matthew uses to say how the two sets of brothers by the sea (Peter/Andrew and James/John) reacted when Jesus asked them to follow him: "at once" and "immediately." At once they left their nets and boats and family to follow Jesus. Jon broke down on stage as he told of a dream he had last week and how it left him with a burning passion to go love the people that Jesus would love. So, at 4am, he left his house and went to a Hospice center at the hospital to visit with a young woman from the church who is dying. He then visited others in the hospital. Then he went downtown Lexington and stood on the street corner with a sign that said "FREE HUGS." He talked of a homeless woman who after he hugged her, said that he had done something for her in that hug that no one else has done for her in years. Jon began to weep on stage about how loving people is exactly it, about how that is exactly why Southland works and that is exactly why following Jesus matters. It all circles around to love.

Anyone in the auditorium who had kept at least some of their attention on Jon's message could see by now the combining of Jon's brokenness and joy as he told of these things and told of how he GETS to pastor the people of Southland. He GETS to hear stories from the fast food drive-thru workers about how everyday at least one person from Southland rolls through there and pays for the people behind them in line. He GETS to see the on-site warehouse that Southland has for their food drives among other ministries to the poor. This was a service with a powerful yet simple message of love spoken from a pastor who lived it out himself and truly had sold himself out to that message.

To make it even better, I realized this afternoon that today was Veteran's Day. This was one of the first times in my life that I was not reminded of this holiday in church,...and I was thankful for that. I was glad that there was no mention of it. I'm glad there was no memorial given for veterans in the congregation. I'm glad there were no patriotic songs that bordered on worshiping our nation rather than our King. I'm glad there were no national flags because our brothers and sisters in the kingdom of God stretch far beyond our nation's boundaries.

I know that this is unsettling for some who don't like my view. I also understand that I am probably reacting somewhat to the other side because of the nation-worship that I've experienced in churches while growing up. Please don't misunderstand me: I do feel like we who follow Jesus in America need to have a grateful heart for the freedom of worship that we have and the financial means that we have to live and live well compared to the rest of the world. However, the tendency of most American evangelical churches is to take it too far by almost worshiping our nation with patriotic songs and focusing on those who protect our nation. Again, I must clarify myself: I am NOT saying that I am against the military or war. Well...I am a pacifist. I can't get around it. I just can't see how, through the covenant in Jesus that I am under, I can willingly use violence. However, I also understand that I am an idealist. Living this way doesn't work in a fallen and decrepit world of greed and hate. I see war and the need for military as an unfortunate need at best. War is an unfortunately necessary means when trying to mold a world of hate into a world of peace (which won't be completed until Jesus' reign).

Seeing war as not something to glorify, but, instead, as a necessity to mourn, is why I don't like honoring it in worship services. We should be people who glorify God and pray for His peace, including praying for those who are seeking to bring peace to a broken world. Violence should never be honored, even if it is the means to bring peace. We can mourn the means to something even if good arises from it.

I'm glad that, instead of all those things, I was able to witness what I did this Sunday morning and to be moved in my own spirit to love at all costs.

Love God, Love People
because nothing else matters.

Change of life...again...

2007-11-07T23:03:00.000-05:00

I would have never thought that my plans would continually be thrown in the garbage after I left college. I thought I had everything all planned out. Everything was in its place. Everything was organized. Everything made sense. Everything was leading toward goals that I had. Now I have the faintest of ideas about where my life is going. I'll begin with graduating college and how nothing has gone as planned since. Here's the story:

I moved to my house in Wilmore, Kentucky at the end of May to begin my graduate degree at Asbury Theological Seminary in the fall. I started turning in applications EVERYWHERE and building my resume, but I didn't receive a single call back from ANYWHERE.

Then, I took a week to go back to SWU in early June to see Kindel before she traveled with 'The Difference' this summer. I also led a session with the ministry teams, teaching them some practical tips about life on the road from someone who has just done it for the last couple years. However, Palmer had gotten mono somehow, and it was decided on Wednesday night of that week that he wouldn't travel. Without a drummer, the band was in a bind. They were to leave for their first camp on Sunday. I met with them that night for a tearful night of prayer over the situation (not knowing what I was praying for...). That night, I went to bed not knowing what they would do and not allowing the consideration of joining with them for the summer to even simmer in my head for a second.
However, Thursday morning I woke up and joined the teams for the morning devotions. I can't tell you what Ken spoke about that morning. I was too much in unrest. As I sat down for devotions, the Spirit came and spoke to my heart, saying that I had to offer my summer to them. I don't know if there were many other moments in my life that I could say with such confidence that it was truly God asking me to do something, but this time I knew it was. As I physically squirmed in my seat in Bryant Lodge that morning, I mentally wrestled with God through the whole devotion. I kept saying, "God, I have my plans. I've moved my life. I'm done with this. I need to go to Kentucky. I want to get a job. I want to have my summer to start my life up there. I came down here for a week! They are leaving in THREE DAYS for a TEN WEEK SUMMER!!! I've never heard of a relationship that lasted through a summer of ministry team travel together! I don't want to risk that! THIS IS NOT WHAT I PLANNED!!!" [On a sidenote, if any of you know me well enough, you know that I am a total planner. I hate not knowing what's happening and I hate jumping into anything until it has been fully analyzed.] What was going on in my conscience was totally against any natural order to my personality and I was fighting it to the death. However, by the end of the devotion time, I accepted the death of my own desires and pulled Ken outside to give up my summer to help them. After some discussion with the team, I joined on the team and ended up receiving a decent pay for the summer (sometimes I wonder if I was never meant to find a job in Kentucky...?). I had a great summer with the team. I experienced some great times as well as some bad times (sinus infection and bronchitis for two weeks...). I grew a lot as a person, as a leader, and best of all, with Kindel.

So...then, after planning on only being away for a week, I finally made my way back to Kentucky in late August to start classes in September. As I got into classes, I had mixed feelings about it all. I was learning and classes were mostly interesting, but I was again at unrest with myself and my situation. I was becoming increasingly more miserable in full-time graduate school. Through some prayer, thought, conversations with trusted friends, and self-realizations, I came to realize something. I need people and I need something to do. What do I mean? Basically, I realized that while I was at SWU, it was all the people-oriented activities, ministry-oriented things, the serving, the loving on people, the conversations, the pouring into people and the musical endeavors that fed my soul and allowed me to tolerate the schoolwork when I didn't want to do it. While I was there, I think I took those things for granted and never realized their importance to my own joy and peace in life. Unfortunately, it had to take me submerging myself into a life consumed in books, lectures, and papers (with no time left for anything else) to realize that.

So...that leads me to now. What am I going to do about it?

At the end of this semester, I am moving away from Wilmore, KY. In mid-December, I will be moving into a house with Brady and Jarred Mann in Liberty, SC. Brady is now the youth pastor at Smith Chapel Wesleyan and they are giving him the parsonage to live in. I WILL be continuing my degree at Asbury, but it will be through Asbury's online campus and will only be on a part-time basis (5-6 hours a semester and summer). As of right now, I am not quite sure what work I will do. Truly, I feel that I need a lighter semester to do some self-awareness thinking and such. I am working on finding work that will be minimal, such as working at a coffee shop or something and maybe leading worship somewhere as well. I'm in conversation with Buddy Rampey (District Superintendent of the SC district of the Wesleyan Church) about possibly doing some church planting work in the future (personally, I've had some ideas about going into Greenville...focusing into the greater downtown area, but who knows...).

Somehow, despite my psycho-planner personality and usually defining my worth by my work (typical male style), I have peace about this move. In all good conscience, I have no clear direction to go anywhere else or do anything else and I feel like I am making the best decision I can with the information and possibilities set before me. I think that God is a God who knows my heart's desire to do my best for Him and will honor that if I am truly making the best decision, out of good intentions, with what I know and have in front of me.

If you know of anything down that way that could help me out in getting work, please let me know. Otherwise, please lift up a prayer for me at some point. I need it as I'm attempting to stay dependent upon God through this.

The City: A King Who Stoops Down to be a Servant

2007-08-25T15:18:00.000-05:00

Imagine a king who rules over the most powerful kingdom in the world. He has anything he wants. He has the biggest palace of all time. He has all the riches of the world. He reigns high and mighty above his people. He has all the power in the world.

Imagine this king, who has all and reigns over all, deciding to step down from his throne and live among the lowest people in his kingdom. Imagine a king who gives up all his riches to live among the poorest of the poor. Imagine a sovereign king who surrenders all his power to become vulnerable to the powers and authority of everyone else.

This is the story of our King.

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. [Colossians 1:15-18]

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. [Philippians 2:5-11]

Jesus created all and rules over all, yet He still decided that the best way to reach His people and show them His love for them was to give up all his power and riches to live among us. He left His throne in heaven to take on flesh and blood and live in this fallen world. This is the model of true love, of the servant king who gave up all He had to be with His people.

This is also the model for urban ministry, if not all ministries. It is commonly called “incarnational ministry.” Incarnation is the term for Jesus coming to earth in a physical body. The word literally translates as “in flesh” from Latin. Incarnational ministry is the philosophy that to reach people, we have to live among them. Dr. John Perkins wrote about this in his book With Justice for All:

How then shall we proclaim Good News to the poor? Once again Jesus is our model. “The Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). Jesus relocated. He didn’t commute to earth one day a week and shoot back up to heaven. He left His throne and became one of us so that we might see the life of God revealed in Him.

When ministering to the city, it is quite impossible to serve and change the city from outside of it. Tim Keller says in his article A Biblical Theology of the City, “You can’t reach the city from the suburbs, but can reach all the metro area from the city.” If we plan to reach the people of the inner city, including the impoverished, we have to live life with them. We have to live in community with them. Incarnational living combines the mission with the wholeness of your life.

This means we give up the luxuries of the suburbs and the country to take on the life of the urbanite. This means that life is not about us. How can we learn to connect with urbanites if we live in our $200,000 homes on 3 acres while driving our SUVs to the local Wal-Mart in the suburbs? Our choice of where to live has little to nothing to do with our preference—it has to do with the need of the mission and where the masses are. When living to serve Jesus, comfort is not a factor. The mission is the deciding factor. The mission is why we live. The mission is where we live. Where we live is for the mission.

The City: Jonah’s Racism & God’s Heart for the City

2007-07-17T10:29:00.000-05:00

What is the heartbeat of God? By heartbeat, I mean, what is at the core of God that drives Him. What is God’s overwhelming desire for people? If we desire to serve God and do ministry effectively, we must know the heartbeat of God. We have to know what moves Him and what breaks His heart so that we can take on that same heart and minister to the world.

God reveals His heartbeat in His word over and over again. In one instance, He reveals it to someone who did not have the same heartbeat. I want to look at someone who did not have the heartbeat of God. I want to look at the life and ministry of Jonah.

In children’s versions of Jonah’s story, we always get a G-rated version that misses a lot of the details. Let me catch us up on some more details. I’m not going to recap everything. So if you want more details, it would be great to read through the book of Jonah. Jonah is an Israelite and a prophet of God. Nineveh is the capital of Assyria. The Assyrians were considered the worst people in the world at that time. They were hated and feared by mostly everyone. The Assyrians were known for their atrocities and inhumane war tactics. Let’s give Jonah some credit—these were not easy people to preach destruction to. Imagine going to the Nazi leaders in the early 1940’s and telling them they will be defeated, and not just defeated, but killed and destroyed. You probably wouldn’t live to see it happen.

So Jonah runs. But Jonah doesn’t run because he’s afraid of the Ninevites. That wasn’t his main fear. We’ll see why he ran later. Jonah jumps on a boat and tries to go to Tarshish, which is the farthest port that they knew of in that day. Tarshish was in current day Spain. God sends the storm. Jonah walks the plank and becomes dinner. Jonah should have been thankful that the fish’s mother didn’t nag about chewing your food.

While in the fish, Jonah prays to God for help. It doesn’t necessarily seem to be that Jonah is truly repentant, however. Ever said to God, “God, if you just get me out of this situation, I’ll do whatever you want.” You bargain with God for instant help. How many times have you tried to bargain with God? I think Jonah is doing the same thing b/c he just wants to live.

God saves him, commands Jonah a second time to go, and Jonah goes. He preaches to Nineveh that they will be destroyed in 40 days. All the people declare a fast and repent, hoping for God’s mercy. This leads us up to the last verse of chapter three, which says, “When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened.”
So Jonah preaches one sentence to these people and he witnesses a revival sweep across the capital city of the greatest empire in the world. He sees thousands of people find God’s grace and mercy. What does Jonah do? Let’s read chapter four.

But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry. He prayed to the LORD, "O LORD, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, O LORD, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live."

But the LORD replied, "Have you any right to be angry?"

Jonah went out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the LORD God provided a vine and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the vine. But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the vine so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah's head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, "It would be better for me to die than to live."

But God said to Jonah, "Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?"
"I do," he said. "I am angry enough to die." [Jonah 4:1-9]

Let’s pause there. Are you catching this? Jonah just witnessed thousands of people come to God and receive His mercy. What does Jonah do? He becomes “greatly displeased and angry”. In verse 2 we find out why he didn’t want to come to Nineveh in the first place. He hated the Ninevites so much that he didn’t want them to find the mercy of God. He knew that God was compassionate and would have mercy on them, so he didn’t want to bring them the message.

He lacks any compassion for these people. He is consumed in himself and thought nothing of the Ninevites. He had no pity for them. Some say that Jonah, like many Israelites of the time, was very exclusive because they were the chosen nation of God. Jonah believed that God reigned and judged the whole world, but he wanted God to show his mercy and grace only to Israel. He didn’t want others to have God’s mercy, just His wrath. Some scholars have said that Jonah “wrapped the gospel in his flag”. He wanted to keep the gospel of grace exclusive only to his own people and not let anyone else share in it.

So what was the heartbeat of Jonah? Jonah’s heartbeat was selfish grace. He wanted God’s grace for himself but didn’t truly want others to have it.

Don’t we do the same thing? Maybe we say that the gospel is for everyone, but does the life that we lead truly show that? Maybe it’s not our flag that we wrap the gospel in. Maybe it’s social class that we wrap the gospel in. Maybe we say that the gospel is for all but our life shows that we really believe that the gospel is only for the middle class, not the poor. Maybe it’s not social class. Maybe it’s race. “Oh, but the gospel is for everyone” we say. But we live lives that show that the gospel is only for the white suburbanites. We can not just say that the grace of God is for all people; we have to live out the call of God by bringing it to them if we truly believe it.

I hear people all the time saying that they want something, but then they don’t do anything to get it. If you honestly wanted to accomplish something, you would go do it with no excuses. If we truly believed that others deserve the gospel of grace as much as we do, we would go find them and bring them the gospel of grace.

So Jonah’s heartbeat is selfish grace. What about God’s heartbeat? What do we know about God’s heartbeat? Jonah is the first to tell us about God’s heartbeat in verse 2 when he admits why he didn’t want to go to Nineveh. He says, “I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.”

God is above all else compassionate, merciful and loving. This description of God, “gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love,” shows up across the Old Testament. God desires to see people come to Him and find His grace. God wants to show compassion to people. God is above all else love. God desires to love everyone and anyone, no matter how far away or how nasty their life looks.

God ends up spending most of this chapter rebuking Jonah and trying to teach Him what His heartbeat looks like. Jonah just doesn’t get it though. In verse 4, God asks Jonah, “Have you any right to be angry?” Apparently, Jonah might have thought that this question could have meant that he judged too quickly and that God still might destroy Nineveh. So he goes out of the city and builds a shelter to sit under while he waits to see what happens. Then, God sends a vine to protect Jonah from the scorching sun. But then God sends a worm that eats it away. When Jonah gets up the next morning, a scorching wind and the blazing sun are physically destroying Jonah. He is now even more angry. His own hatred and desire to see the people destroyed put himself into that situation. And Jonah wants to die. Literally, this phrase meant that “he wished for his soul to die” or that he “despaired of his life”. It brings the idea that he asked God to grant him his life so that he can do with it what he wants. He wished for death, not because of the wind or sun, but because he did not want to live to witness God’s mercy being extended to the Ninevites.

God again asks him, “Do you have any right to be angry about the vine?” He basically asks Jonah the same question that he already asked him in verse 4. “Do you have any right to be angry?” This question goes much deeper than the vine or the scorching wind. This goes to the very heartbeat of Jonah. God was, in effect, saying to him, “You’re heart is not with mine. You are consumed in yourself and you are selfish with sharing my grace.”

Sometimes we get caught up in our own selfishness and we don’t see or care about how God is working. Last semester, I had a similar experience. I left my apartment on a Friday morning to go to a class. When I came back to my apartment, I was going to use my iPod to listen to some music. Long story short, someone stole my iPod. Two weeks later, a laptop was stolen from one of the other guys I live with. I was angry to say the least. I was not in a good attitude the rest of the weekend, until Sunday night. On Sunday night, I attended a church service with a bunch of friends from school. We knew that the message was going to be targeted more towards the friends of mine who don’t know Jesus yet. That night, I witnessed four of my friends give their lives over to Jesus. As I watched them and saw the smile they had on their faces, God sent me a reality check. I was still angry about my iPod. As I looked at them, God said to me, “Do you have any right to be angry about the iPod? Look what is happening in these people’s lives?” God is saying to Jonah, “You are crying about a stupid plant while there are thousands of people who two days ago did not know my grace, but now have been redeemed. You have no concern for them, only for yourself and your own comfort. That is not My heart, Jonah.”

Jonah doesn’t redeem himself after the second question either. “I do. I am angry enough to die.”

God rebukes him again and in doing so, God shows us His own heart. This whole book and the whole story of Jonah ends with God showing His true heartbeat. This book isn’t so much about Jonah as it is about showing God’s desire for mankind and for the city of Nineveh. Read verses 10 and 11:

But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?" [Jonah 4:10-11]

And what is God’s heart? What is God’s heartbeat? The heartbeat of God is compassion for the spiritual needs of the soul and concern for the physical needs of the person. God has compassion and wants to see people come to His grace. God says, “But Nineveh has more than a hundred thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left. Should I not be concerned about that great city?” God says, “I love people. I am concerned for them. I want to give them my grace.”

He also mentions “many cattle” in this statement though. That’s sort of weird. Why is he concerned about cows? The cattle were synonymous with the economy and well-being of the people. God is concerned with their economic well-being. God’s heart is broken for the poor and needy. He is saying, “Shouldn’t I care about the economy of these people?” God’s heartbeat is compassion for the soul and concern for the needs of people.

So if that is God’s heartbeat, what is the heartbeat of His church? What should be the heartbeat of His Church? The Church is the bride of Christ and His representative to the world. The Church is where God’s heart should be fully expressed in this world. The Church should have the same heartbeat as the head of the Church, which is Jesus. We, as the Church, should have broken hearts for those who don’t know God’s grace. We should weep for those who are poor and needy. We should have compassion for the soul and concern for people’s needs. This is what the Church should look like. The Church should give out mercy and love to all people, no matter their sin or how dirty they may be. Jesus did not hang on the cross only for a bunch of suburbanites. Jesus spent His earthly life hanging out with prostitutes, the people whose sin could be seen by all, and with the poor who had nothing else. The Gospel is not just for the White middle class. The whole Bible is scattered with command after command by God for His people to take care of the poor and to show God’s grace to everyone. Is that what we look like?

I think we need a wake up call. I think we need to re-analyze our mission and our heart. We must take on the heartbeat of God if we are going to serve Him and love people like He wants us to.

We have analyzed this story of Jonah. We have taken an in-depth look into Jonah’s heart and God’s heart. Now I have a couple questions that each of us need to answer about our own hearts.

There was a point in our lives when we were Nineveh. We, too, were living our lives for ourselves and not caring for others. We were under God’s wrath and if God would have allowed it, we would have met God’s wrath. But God gave us the opportunity to hear of His grace and gave us the choice of repenting and begging for His mercy. We needed His mercy desperately. We needed His love and compassion. We would have been destroyed otherwise. We deserved none of it. We deserved no mercy, no grace, no love. We, too, were once Nineveh. Now, have we forgotten how dirty and in need of His grace we once were? Have we held God’s grace with a tight fist and tried to keep it for ourselves? We were once Nineveh. Have we now turned into Jonah?

Jonah built a shelter on the east side of the city so that he would have somewhere to watch from as he waited for God to destroy Nineveh. Are we truly the Church that God has asked us to be or have we just built a shelter for us to gather in, protected, while we sit back and watch the rest of the world get destroyed? If so, are we willing to tear down the shelter in our lives to build a place and a life that goes to the people where they are and shows them compassion?

Change of plans...

2007-06-12T10:03:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm at Table Rock Wesleyan Camp right now. As of last week, I was not planning on being here. Here's what happened.

Last week, I drove down to SWU to see Kindel and to help train the ministry teams. Unfortunately, Palmer (who plays drums for "The Difference") caught mono the week before. The mono just wiped him out of energy and it would be sort of dangerous for him to travel to camps all summer. So, he had to drop out for the summer. The band was in a huge bind without him. So, Thursday morning I woke up planning on heading back to Kentucky in a week or so. However, I felt like I couldn't go home without at least offering my help. So, as of Thursday night, I was contracted to travel with the team and head to the first camp in three days. Somehow, in God's providence, Lyle (who sings and plays guitar for the band) took drum lessons last fall and has been playing this past year. So he jumped on drums and I jumped in on guitar and singing. It's been crazy trying to prepare a whole new band setup in three days, but it's coming together well! It took me 24 hours to actually realize that I had just made the decision to travel, but after I got past the shock, I was excited about traveling again. I'm still overwhelmed with the responsibility of leading worship at camps all summer, but God works best when I feel inadequate and over my head. If I only did what I thought I could do out of my own humanity, I would never live up to my potential in Christ.

Here's the rundown of the summer. Each camp is a week:

SC Middle School Wesleyan Camp - Table Rock, SC
Camp Wesley - Kannapolis, NC
SC High School Wesleyan Camp - Table Rock, SC
Camp Rockfish - Parkton, NC
NC East Middle School Camp - Sophia, NC
South Coastal Family Camp - Tuscaloosa, AL
NC East High School Camp - Sophia, NC
Camp Rockfish - Parkton, NC

Pray for me and the team!

The City: The Urbanization of the World

2007-05-31T14:57:00.000-05:00

In 1950, there were seven cities in the world that had reached a population of five million people: New York, London, Paris, Berlin, Tokyo-Yokohama, Buenos Aires, and Shanghai. Now, there are over 50 cities over five million. The world is exponentially becoming urban. The future of the world is one of cities. We can not discuss the future without discussing the cities.

When Jesus called us to serve Him, He wanted our entire lives. Servants go where the master asks them to go. When we consider where we are going to live, we must understand that we are going to be missionaries there. Where we live does not depend so much on our own ideas of comfort and serenity, but more on where we can serve in Jesus’ movement. If we are going to live lives that focus on serving Jesus, we will have to understand the social trends going on across the globe. The global population shift is a migration to the cities. As global population continues to increase so will the number of mega-cities. This is a planet of great cities.

This is a huge problem for the primarily rural and suburbanized Christianity of America. If the American church would only see the potential held in this global shift to the cities, we could take hold of this shift and use it for the furthering of the movement of Jesus. In the cities, there are millions of people within walking distance. Churches in the cities can reach millions of people just within a few square miles. Talk about a mission for the Gospel! You can’t get that anywhere other than the cities!

Ralph Winter once said that the last great frontier for the Gospel is the cities. With a view of the global shift back to the cities, I think he’s certainly right.

The City: Introduction

2007-05-29T23:43:00.000-05:00

For those who know me well, you know that God has placed in my heart the passion to minister in an urban environment. I’m not sure which city, but I know that God is asking me to serve in that sort of environment. As long as I actually keep up with this blog, I am planning on starting a series of posts entitled “The City.” These posts will wrestle with concepts about urban ministry, what the urban church should look like, why we should go to the cities, why we should feel responsible for the cities, God’s view of the city, the church’s relationship with the city, cities in Scripture.

I want to put in a disclaimer for these posts as well. Most of these ideas are not original to me. This series of posts are only a collection of thoughts on urban ministry and theology from various pastors, thinkers, visionaries, etc. A few of these people are Erwin McManus, Mark Driscoll, Tim Keller, and Ray Bakke. I'll start them soon! Check back!

The House!

2007-05-29T17:29:00.000-05:00

Here's the pictures of our house in Kentucky! We're still moving in and Brandon is bringing most of the living room furniture when he moves in next week. Go to this link to check out our awesome house!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2002799&l=4f934&id=141700083

Life Update

2007-05-24T08:47:00.000-05:00

So it has definitely been over two months since I last posted. To all the hundreds of disappointed and anxious readers who have been faithfully waiting for a new post (haha), I am sorry. College took all my time. I should re-word that: Living at college took all my time. My classes really didn't. So here's my unordered rambling to update my life situation. I apologize if it's all over the place.

Since last posting, I spent most of that time finishing my undergrad at Southern Wesleyan University. I graduated on Saturday, May 12. Life at SWU was great! This last semester was academically light, only taking 12 hours. I learned some about playing piano in my piano class. That was cool, although I didn't practice near what I should have. I also took guitar class with Tim Lee. I decided I wanted to do something musical with my last two elective hours.

As a senior with horrible "senioritis," I skipped two half-weeks of classes in April. Paul, Micah and I left on a Wednesday to spend the remainder of the week at a beach house owned by Paul's grandfather. We came back on Sunday. Good times! For some pictures, go to my facebook photo album labeled, "The Adventures of the 'Shut Up and Fish' Hat."

Then, a week after getting back, Paul, Micah, Steve, and I led worship for the Gaston Area Youth Revival. It started Sunday night and went through Wednesday night. However, we had problems getting a drummer each night. Steve could only be there on Sunday and Wednesday night and the replacement drummer had to bail on playing the other nights. So I became the "utility musician" for the week. On Sunday and Wednesday night, I played electric guitar for most of the songs, but I also played a synth keyboard run through a MacBook on a couple songs. On Monday and Tuesday night, we went down to an acoustic set. Paul and Micah played acoustic guitars and I played a djembe (a West African, skin-covered hand drum that's shaped like a really big goblet). So, not only did I play electric guitar, but I also publicly debuted on the keys and djembe. It was crazy. I loved playing the djembe though. I discovered that deep down inside, I really desire to be a drummer. I love it. Maybe one day I'll learn to handle a full drum kit.

I've had another new development in my life since last posting. It all started almost two months ago when this girl at SWU would not stop stalking me! I mean, she was crazy! She was following me to class, standing outside my apartment waiting for me, following me when I drove to Wal-Mart, and showing up every time when I went to a restaurant! She would stare in that little window on the doors in Brower. She even started wooing me with Cheerwine! Now that's underhanded, a stalker using Cheerwine like that! Well, I guess it worked...

Okay, so I'm totally joking. There is no stalker. No one is following me to class, standing outside my apartment, or following me around. However, there is a wonderful and beautiful girl who has done her share of wooing me with Cheerwine! Kindel is great! She made my last month of college even better than it was already! Although starting a relationship a month before moving to Kentucky is not the most logical thing to do, I'm slowly learning that life isn't always about being logical and practical. Sometimes there are portions of life that logic and practicality know nothing about. Kindel, thank you for opening your heart to me! I deeply appreciate all the time we have spent together and I hope there is much more time to be spent!

Now about the "moving to Kentucky" thing. I graduated from Southern Wesleyan on May 12. Well, I decided that I didn't have enough student loans, so I thought I'd go to graduate school. Seriously, I left SWU with a degree in Religion with concentrations in Christian Ministries and Bible. The CM major was strong in practical ministry courses and even some foundational courses (theology, Greek, etc.). However, even with adding the Bible concentration, I feel rather inept at understanding, interpreting, and teaching the Scriptures. If I am to be living by these Scriptures and also teaching others by these Scriptures for the rest of my life, I better have a good handle on how to fully understand them with historical, cultural, literary, and theological context. So, I decided to pursue a graduate degree at Asbury Theological Seminary in Wilmore, Kentucky. I will be working towards a M.A. in Biblical Studies. It's a 60 hour program that I hope to complete sometime in 2009.

This week I have been moving into my house!!! Yes, a house! Not an apartment, not a loft, not a dorm room! A house! Benji, Brandon, Russell and I are renting a house in Wilmore. It's a four bedroom and two bathroom house. It's fully furnished with appliances, such as fridge, oven, microwave, washer, dryer, and even a dishwasher! I drove up here through the night Monday night in a U-Haul truck towing my Civic behind it. Benji and I met our landlord Tuesday morning. She walked us through the house, told us some stuff we needed to know for upkeep of the house and handed us our keys. She seems to be really awesome. I think she'll be a great landlord. Benji and I have been moving in all of our stuff since Tuesday morning. It is chaos, but we're getting settled in slowly. Brandon will be moving in sometime next week and Russell will join us sometime in early July. We've already met one of our neighbors. Ironically, it is the ex-wife of Benji's roommate at the duplex he lived in until moving to this house. That was somewhat of an awkward greeting to the neighborhood.

I think that wraps up my life up to this point. I'm typing this in my house with boxes all around (most are thankfully now empty). I will be doing lots of job-hunting today so I can pay my new bills. Oh yeah...I also bought a MacBook last week. It rocks! Oh... I also was in Maine for a few days last week for Todd and Corrie's wedding. The wedding was great! When Corrie turned the corner to come down the aisle, Todd lost it! There is only a handful of times that I can remember seeing a man cry like that. It was awesome! I also boiled and ate a lobster. It was really messy, but it was good. I also ate a dozen Tim Hortons doughnuts. There was a 24 hour Tim Hortons a mile from the house that all the guys were staying at. So, all 8 of us guys definitely frequented it about twice a day each day! That wasn't the healthiest choice, but it's not everyday that I get Tim Hortons doughnuts!

Okay, now I think that is it. I'll be back soon now that I have free time!

Twentysomething and Idealism

2007-03-03T10:32:00.000-05:00

Thursday night I went to see the movie "Amazing Grace" with a few friends. The movie is based on the true story of William Wilberforce, a member of the English Parliament. In September 1780, Wilberforce was elected to Parliament at the age of 21. In 1785, Wilberforce had a spiritual experience in which he resolved to commit his life to the service of God. He felt like he had to become a minister or monk to commit himself to God, but all the advice that he received from others was that he should stay in politics, including from John Newton, a leading evangelical minister. Wilberforce said in the movie that he was torn because he wanted to commit himself to God but he also felt like he had to serve humanity by abolishing the slave trade. Through some great advice, he realized he could do both by doing the latter. Through Wilberforce's persistence, he finally saw the slave trade abolished in 1807.

Wilberforce was an idealist. He saw a reason to fight for the rights of humanity. He had ideals for a more perfect soceity and he fought through the pain and opposition to see it happen. Over the past couple weeks, I have been realizing in myself that I, too, am an idealist. I dream big and I dream optimistically. I have these grand ideas for helping the world. Most of the time, people might say I'm in over my head, and I probably am. How can I think that I could tackle the AIDS epidemic spreading across Africa, India, and the rest of the world? How could I assume that I could take on world poverty and world hunger? How could I believe that I could see a whole major city come back to God and find His grace? "Nice dreams...but be realistic." I don't know what it is, but I can't think smaller. I can't dream on a smaller scale. I have something inside me that must live for something much larger than myself. Some say it's because I'm in my twenties and haven't lived long enough to become a realist. My response: I hope to God that when I am forty, I haven't allowed life to callous me over so badly that I have such a smaller hope and passion for humanity. When I look at the Scriptures and when I read Jesus' words, I see a kingdom of grace. I see a kingdom built on lofty ideals. Faith, hope, love, grace, mercy....these are lofty, optimistic and outright crazy ideals for humanity. Yet God has asked me to live by them. So when does it say to not be an idealist and give yourself away for crazy dreams for a better world? It doesn't.

There's only one catch. When I went backpacking this week, there were portions of the trail that were painful and physically challenging. After going for 8 or 9 miles in a day with a 40 pound backpack, a one mile steep uphill hike pushed my body to its limit. I was mentally forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other because my body would not do it naturally. It was done. Unfortunately, I had another 5 miles to go that day. I ended up doing it too. I realized something that day. I had lofty ideas about backpacking and how amazing it would be to push my body to its limits. I thought that it wouldn't get that bad and I could push myself through anything. But those ideas are easier said beforehand. When I arrived in the moment of pain and suffering, and my body was hitting the wall, it was not so easy to have the ideals of backpacking that I had before I started. In those moments, I wanted it to be over. I just wanted to sit down in our car and go home. I wanted to finish the uphill climb on an escalator and then never return.

Ideals are easy to have and rant about. It's easy to sit in a classroom or over coffee and speak passionately for a cause. However, it is another thing to fight passionately for the cause when you are in the midst of the pain, suffering, opposition, and you feel alone in the fight. There are thousands, maybe millions, who live and die with lofty ideals. But when they begin to fight for their ideals, and the pain sets in, most of them fall away and just want to quit. They become realists because the pain of the fight overcame their own perseverance. Many live and die with lofty ideals. Only a few fight to the end for their ideals and those are the few that we read about and admire today. Those are the Wilberforces and Ghandis of history. Will my idealism fade when the weight of the fight is pushing down on my back, the uphill battle looks like it will never end, and I can't convince my feet to continue to move forward? I pray to God that it won't.

Backpacking and DTR

2007-02-26T23:12:00.000-05:00

This has to be a short post because I'm busy packing, talking, and need to get to bed at a decent hour. Why am I packing and need to get to bed? Because I am going backpacking across a portion of the Foothills Trail in upstate SC. I'm going along with Brady and Donnahoo. We'll be leaving 7:30 am Tuesday morning and plan to finish Thursday night. These three days are going to be awesome, painful, challenging, stretching, and moving all at once. I can't wait to sit around a campfire at night with the guys and talk about life, love, ministry, God, and whatever else. It will be an experience. Phil, one of the RDs at SWU, told us today, "It's about the journey, not the destination." Phil always has wise words.

So what's with the "DTR" in the title, you might ask. Well, it's connected with the backpacking. I was in my car driving back to school earlier today and I had some time to think and pray. As I was doing so, I came to a conclusion. In human romantic relationships, there come points in the relationship when a decision of further commitment have to be made. For instance, somewhere along the path, there comes a point when you have to decide if the relationship is heading towards marriage. If it isn't, then there is no point in being there. There are points along the relationship where more commitment, even if it's only small commitments, need to take place. I feel like I have hit one of those moments... with God. I have come to another point in my relationship with Him where I have to make more commitment to Him and hand over more control in my life. I almost understand it as this is a turning point or crisis point in my relationship with Him. I'm tired of playing games and living for myself. At this turning point, it's either stop playing the games, hand over more of my heart, or stop wasting my time saying I will "try harder". It's harsh, but God's call on our lives is not sugar-coated and pretty. Yet what comes out of His call on our lives is much more beautiful than anything else imaginable.

So I'm off... backpacking and having a DTR talk...be back Thursday night!

Authentic Spirituality and American Christianity

2007-01-19T09:48:00.000-05:00

Just a short thought:

I've heard a lot of people say that America is turning away from God. I've heard many older people say that "back in my day" more people followed God and now we are turning away from Him. I've heard many blame our country for the moral decline of our society because they took prayer out of schools and questioned "under God" in the pledge. I've heard it said that this country used to be Christian and now it is falling away from that.

I have a theory, however, that says that America hasn't changed in its allegiance to Christianity over the past few generations. I say that because I believe that the majority has never been committed to Jesus, even if they thought they were. Here's what I'm getting at: It is not that less people are following Christianity now than decades before; instead, it is that less people are faking their spirituality than decades ago. I would dare say that the high percentages of Christianity in America decades ago were merely high percentages of people who followed religion, not true Christian spirituality. Many were faking it because it was somewhat socially expected to be a Christian. They went because it was expected and they thought that their rituals and religion was how to truly follow Jesus (but it wasn't). I would dare say that the change is not the numbers necessarily (at least not to the large margin that we think), but the change is actually that not as many people are faking it anymore. This "decline" in numbers is a good thing because it is not a decline in true followers of Jesus; it's a decline in those who claimed the religion without the spirituality. Less people in the newer generations are now going to church because they aren't interested in ritual and religion, which is a good thing. So, it has the appearance that Christianity is on the decline. However, I say that America's social atmosphere is finally being honest with itself and the merely religious are falling away in mass numbers. People are tired of the fake religiousity, so more Americans are not playing the game.

I'd rather the numbers be declining. It has been far too long that Christianity has been a socially accepted religion and not a selfless and costly authentic spirituality. Let the masses of merely religious go. Jesus did not ask for those who would follow Him out of social requirement or follow Him with a little bit of themselves. Jesus called for the committed. Barry Callen, in "Authentic Spirituality," states:

To be authentically Christian is to be fully human and to join God in the costly ministry of redemption and justice. Nothing else is worthy of being called 'Christian spirituality.' " (14)

If a person's life is striving for anything less than this mindset, then he/she is not seeking the true spirituality that Jesus asked for.

To some degree, I thank God for the move away from the church. I'm tired of the bride of Christ being full of those who are merely religious and not willing to actually follow Jesus. Finally, the church can become the servant to Jesus and mankind instead of a social club.

Asbury Acceptance!

2007-01-13T03:02:00.000-05:00

This past Thursday, January 11, I received an email from my admissions rep and he said:

Congratulations, you've been admitted for Fall 2007! You'll be receiving
an official letter in the mail from my director soon, but I wanted to go
ahead and give you the good news.

Awesome news! I submitted my application for the Presidential Scholarship on Friday. This scholarship is a full tuition scholarship for two years. Financial Aid told me that a decision on that scholarship will probably be made by early February. That would be a wonderful birthday present if I receieved it, but who knows. I'm sure there are tons of worthy and scholarly applicants.

As of right now, I am feeling that Asbury is certainly my next step. I felt amazing peace and comfort each time that I have visited Asbury, including my week up there over break. When I visited Gordon-Conwell in Massachusetts, I felt uneasy the entire time I was on campus. It was strange. I had that upset stomach feeling, except it wasn't a physical feeling. Maybe I'm just strange. I have nothing telling me not to go to Asbury next. The doors are opening and I have great peace about it. They have great programs to offer for me to grow as a leader, minister, follower of Jesus, Biblical scholar, and more. No signs to hold me back. Thanks to God for all that He has given to me. So many don't receive this sort of opportunity, yet I do. It doesn't seem fair. I hope that my life can be spent giving people who were given the "short end of the stick" opportunities that no one else would chance on them.

70 mph looks crazy through tear-filled eyes

2007-01-02T22:49:00.000-05:00

When deciding on how to get to Asbury, I consulted Google maps and Mapquest. Google maps told me to go I-40 to I-75. Mapquest told me to go I-77 to I-64. Either way was roughly 7 hours--one was due west and then north...the other vice versa. So, I decided to go the 40 and 75 route. I packed my car and drove off towards the sunset.

For my trip, I decided to listen to sermon podcasts the whole way up (I know, I'm a dork). So, I decided to listen to a playlist of some of the ones I have missed recently. The playlist consisted of my favorites, such as Erwin McManus, Mark Driscoll, and Rob Bell. Somewhere along I-40, I was listening to Mars Hill's podcast (Rob Bell's church), and the guest speaker (not Rob Bell obviously) was speaking about serving. He then invited a few members of the church to speak about serving experiences they had. Somewhere in the midst of the stories from these members, God hit me like a ton of bricks. For some reason, I began to weep (Believe me when I say that I'm hesitating to mention this story because I'm just like any guy...I don't cry very often and it's not easy to admit it either. However, when God moves, I can't help it.) I didn't just cry, I wept, and it wasn't a slow process of feeling an emotion, letting it swell, getting teary-eyed, crying, and then weeping. My spirit skipped all the steps and went straight to the weeping. It happened so fast I didn't even feel an emotion connected to it. It was crazy. This has never happened to me. Other times that I have cried (which has, of course, only been a couple times because I'm a man, right?...) there was always a physical or emotional pain behind it. This time, the emotion didn't show up until a short time later. It's as if my spirit was grieved before the emotion had time to show up. I don't even know how to explain it.

Anyways, so I started weeping in my car going 70 mph down I-40. I'm listening to these stories and my spirit is grieving bitterly inside of me. My heart finally catches up, and my mind right with it, to bring to the surface my thoughts and grievance. So I started praying to God, telling him about all the hurting people in the world (as if He didn't know). I started telling God about the people of Africa, the epidemic of AIDS killing them all, the enslavement of many ethnic groups there, the ethnic cleansing being done by the Muslims in some African countries, the poverty and starvation of so many of them, and the lack of much chance to hear about the love of God. At this point, I believe I was probably screaming at God with tears coming down my face. If only I could know what other people were thinking that passed me. I then proceeded to tell God about the European people and the ever-increasing trend toward atheism, humanism, and existentialism in many of their countries. I began to tell God about how it must be so hard for them to understand God and His love when so much of their culture was caught up in the other "isms" and very few were there to show them God's love. I then began to tell God about the people of Asia. I began to tell Him how many Muslim countries were creating theocracies that were oppressing their people and not allowing them the chance to think for themselves, have a personal will or thought. I began to tell Him of the Hindu people and the people who follow the other mystic Eastern religions. I began to tell Him that their man-made philosophies would only make them into better people with better ideas about life, but nothing more than that.
I began to yell at God, as if He didn't know this about all these people.
I then yelled at God for the American people. I yelled at Him, to let him know of the materialism and self-centered "American dream" that are blinding the eyes of Americans to deeper matters, matters of the spirit and soul. I began to yell at Him about the growing disgust with the church because many Christians have made Jesus a sidenote in their life and have misrepresented Him. I began to yell at God to let Him know this was happening so something could be done. My heart burned for all these people all at once, and all I could do was weep. I was in a car on I-40. In that very moment, I couldn't speak to the existentialist in Europe, or feed a dying child in Africa, or liberate a people from genocide in Sudan, or bring freedom of thought to Iran, or speak of one God to the people of Calcutta. All I could do was tell God how these people are hurting and weep for them.

As I ask God, He continually has been breaking my heart and my own selfishness for the needs of the world. He has been opening my eyes slowly to understand the hurts and needs of these different people, the ones who live in other continents and the ones who live in the same town as me. However, in that moment, God brought me to a point where I could truly be sorrowful for the world and the problems in it. I began to hurt (not just think about, but physically and emotionally hurt) for all these people. Selfishness is a battle that is not easily won, and I don't know what it feels like to win that battle yet. However, God did give me a bigger glimpse of what it is like to take on the selflessness and the heart of Christ for the sake of the world.

I don't know how this will play it in the rest of my life. I might never make an impact on any those continents. I might make it to one, but not the others. I don't know. I do know that God knew I needed to be broken a little more, and He decided to do it while taking a random trip on I-40 to Kentucky.

Back from my Asbury visit

2007-01-02T22:29:00.000-05:00

I just finished a week of hanging out in Wilmore, KY. Well, I really didn't stay in Wilmore much at all. I went up on Dec. 27 and stayed until today. I went to visit Benji and to check out the area, since there's a good chance I'll be living there for the next three years after graduation. We spent a lot of time in Lexington doing stuff and we also took a day trip to Cincinnati (which turned out to be an interesting trip that I'll blog about later). I met up with Jake a couple times as well. We had some good times. We even ate at the Huddle House in Lexington (we had to!)

I can't unpack my whole trip and all my thoughts into one blog, and I'd rather stretch it out into multiple posts to give me something more to do while I'm home. So, I'll continue to blog about different events or thought-provoking moments as I spent my time up there. I'm spending the rest of this week in Salisbury and then should be heading back to SWU on the 7th (even though classes don't start again until the 16th). Well, be back soon!

Wins don't matter in exile

2006-12-27T11:57:00.000-05:00

Read this excerpt from the article, "Knight's record-setter could have been much more" by Pat Forde:

Knight, who is now tied with Dean Smith at 879 victories, likely will become the winningest coach in Division I men's college basketball annals during the Red Raiders' ongoing four-game home stand. In hope that people actually will show up to see Knight enter the record books, Tech has been offering $8.80 general admission seats to the four games at United Spirit Arena. And if you buy a lower-level ticket to those games, you can get one upper-level general admission seat for free.

It's not an easy sell. Texas Tech averaged 6,707 fans in its 15,000-seat arena for four of its early home games this season (attendance for Sam Houston State was not listed) before pulling in 11,561 for the record-tying game against Bucknell this past Saturday.
This is the bed Bob Knight made for himself: He'll make history at an out-of-the-way school with no men's basketball heritage in a football state, in front of a house that very well could be less than full. He'll make history in exile, in effect.

That's just sad. I don't care how many wins Knight pulls off, because he'll never walk off the court with the honor and clout that Dean Smith has.

Jesus and Saliva-Covered Toys

2006-12-24T22:20:00.000-05:00

Tonight, my family drives over to the Robertsons' house to have a Christmas Eve meal and chill time. It's a tradition that started a number of years ago, probably when I just started high school. We had a good time of stuffing our faces and having conversations inbetween mouthfuls. This time we had a 16-month-old child with us, one of the newer additions to the Robertson family. Last year, Conner (the child) was only a few months old and couldn't do much of anything. Now, he has hit the walk everywhere and taste EVERYTHING stage. So, as Freud predicted when he named this time of the toddler's life the "oral stage," Conner picked up multiple things, like little Santa figurines and toy cars, and then proceeded to place them in his mouth.

Since it's this time of year (and we should be focusing our thoughts towards the birth of Jesus), I began to wonder: Did Jesus go through an oral stage as a toddler? Did Jesus cover all the household items in saliva as this is the main way that a toddler of this stage can learn about his environment? Did the ruler and creator of the universe have to re-learn what a dreidel was by sticking it in His mouth? If Freud was right, and most toddlers prove that he was, then it is safe to assume that yes, Jesus covered his dreidel in saliva. (Okay, so Jesus probably didn't have a dreidel, but it makes my point.)

I can not begin to fathom the greatness of the mind of God. Yet, with my limited concept of God's powerful might and genius, it blows my mind to attempt to understand that the same Jesus, who created all that exists, could choose to put on the same skin that we wear and choose to go through the humbling human process of learning as a baby. How great and loving is our God.

Christians of Inaction - Part 2

2006-12-22T01:14:00.000-05:00

I have decided that as I am inspired to write about Christians who love to run their mouths about issues or problems without putting their concern into action, I will post my frustrations. They will be short (well...I'll try) and to the point. Here is installment number 2.

In my first installment, I discussed one of the two major political agendas that the majority of fundamentalist, Republican Christianity has decided to push, which is abortion. Now, on to hot button #2: homosexuality.

First, let's get some things clear. For those people out there who already assume that I'm about to defend homosexuality, you know what assuming does. So don't. For those who somehow think homosexuality is a worse sinful lifestyle than the wretched lifestyle that you and I were saved from, you are far away from understanding God and His grace. For those who think that homosexuality is worse "because it's not just a one-time action, it's a lifestyle," you need to realize that it is no worse of a lifestyle sin than is a repetitive gossip, repetitive adulterer, repetitive drunkard, and this list goes on. So, please, I ask that you let go of the awful stigma that we have so wrongly placed on those who struggle with homosexuality. For those who do not meet any of those categories, thank God for opening your heart to a more grace-filled understanding about life.

Now, on to the topic at hand. Here's my deal. This series is called "Christians of Inaction" because I feel that we are always known for what we're against and never what we are for. People know what we hate and don't have a clue what we love, and that is our fault. It is our fault because we spend so much time bashing instead of loving and lifting others up. So, here's part of my theory. I think that maybe there is such a move towards different sexual lifestyles (homosexuality, transexuality, bisexuality, etc.) in our society because of the obvious failure of the one generally accepted sexual lifestyle, monogamous heterosexual marriage. The Barna Group just posted this year that it is more likely for an evangelical Christian to face divorce than it is for an unbeliever. The divorce rate in America is somewhere around 50% overall. That's half!!! Has that percentage smacked us in the face yet? Do we fully get that? Why are people looking for other options? Maybe it's partly because we have FAILED at God's option. Does that mean there is something wrong with God's option? Does it need to change because it's not working? Of course not! OR....could it be...that WE need to change because we're not working at it?

I wonder what would happen within our society if the divorce rate among evangelical Christians went to almost nothing. I wonder what would happen if evangelical husbands could keep their pants on at work and evangelical wives could not try to find emotional fulfillment other places. If the bluntness offends you, you won't like reading Paul's letters either.

So, don't whine and cry about homosexuality going through legislation when we are failing at our institution of marriage! Christians should not just be against homosexuality and other sexual lifestyles; instead, we should DO something to make our own marriages work and last.

Kevin Myers & Crossroads on Catalyst podcast

2006-12-21T18:07:00.000-05:00

Guess who is the special guest speaker for episode 17 of the Catalyst podcast?

Okay, my title gives it away... KEVIN MYERS! Kevin is the lead pastor of Crossroads Community Church in Lawrenceville, GA, right outside Atlanta. This episode of the Catalyst podcast is a Christmas special episode. For this episode, they took a message that Kevin did at his church a few weeks ago and cut it down a little bit to put on the podcast. Awesome! It's awesome that Kevin and Crossroads (a Wesleyan church) is the focus of a Catalyst podcast, but it's also a great message that Kevin brings to us about the "not so big" Christmas.

Go check it out!

Restraint doesn't mean transformation

2006-12-19T00:26:00.000-05:00

Listen to these words from Colossians 2:20-23:

Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

I remember once, when I was really young, my friend's mom once told us that one day our children would be ten times as bad as we were. At the time (unable to think abstractly), I believed her words of wisdom and feared them. The fear lasted for awhile. I would not do things that I knew were bad, but I still wanted to do them.

I remember another time, again at a very young age, when I did something mean to someone else and a teacher made me apologize. I apologized because I knew the rules, but I didn't have remorse, nor desired this person's forgiveness.

In this passage, Paul is discussing this very idea. We, as humans, make rules to guide us in this life. We make rules for everything: road rules, classroom rules, board game rules. Rules guide how we act and live. Rules decide if someone is speeding down a road or not. Rules decide if a person can sharpen their pencil while the teacher is lecturing. Rules decide if you can pass go and collect $200. Rules may guide how we act and live, but rules do not guide how we think and feel. A person can follow the rules, yet desire to live outside of them. Which one is better?

Take a look at a man who desires to sleep with an unmarried woman. Who is the better man: the man who sleeps with her or the man who lusts after her? Jesus says neither; do we truly understand that? Somehow, we have started to think that if we don't act on it, we are okay. Who is better: the man who wants to sin and does it or the man who wants to sin and starves himself of the pleasure? Paul says that is "false humility" and "harsh treatment of the body". Paul then says that it lacks "any value in restraining sensual indulgence." These legalistic rules that we follow have the "appearance of wisdom" because they keep us from indulging our bodies in sin, but these rules do not keep us from indulging our hearts in sin.

The rules can never save us nor make us acceptable to God. The rules can guard against sinful practices by giving us standards for behavior, but it can never guard our hearts against desiring sinful practices. The rules can convict us of sin, but it can never move us to desire repentance.

For most of us, this is a scary thing to deal with. Most of us who have grown up in the church have been taught a severe lie. We have been taught, intentionally or not, that if we abstain from sin, we are living morally as Jesus wants us to. However, this teaching of abstaining from the act of sin does nothing to cleanse the heart that is still passionately in love with sin. This is hard to swallow. I know it was for me. This is hard to swallow because I think we have accidentally based much of our own morality on this lie. If this is not true, then my whole idea of morality crumbles and then I will have to admit and deal with the darkness of my heart. There is something deep inside of us that screams to us, "Don't make me deal with my own darkness!"

So, if we decide to wrestle with this and deal with the darkness of our hearts, the question is: what does restrain sensual indulgence? If the rules do not rid the heart of its passion for sin, what does? Praise to God who spoke great wisdom through Paul in this letter to the Colossians! Right after this portion of Scripture, Paul says:

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. (3:1-3)

How do you change the passion of the heart? By binding it completely to Christ. If we could begin to focus our hearts above, to Christ and His work, then the heart would change and its passions and desires would change as well. Binding yourself to a life of rules can not transform your heart; so bind your heart to Christ.

Mute Math Worship

2006-12-04T13:07:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I stumbled across a link to a worship album recorded by some of the members of Mute Math with some other people. Paul Meany, lead vocalist and keys player for Mute Math, led worship at a church in Louisiana a few years back. The church recorded it and had it made into an album called "Elevator Music". Mind blowing. Innovative and creative worship. These guys show me why God created music. The Creator of all, the most creative and innovative Being ever, has put in His creation the ability to be "little creators" within His creation. Paul Meany and Mute Math blow me away. I was already sold on them, but this is further proof to me of how amazing these guys are.

If we truly are the followers of the most creative and innovative Being ever, then we should be the ones who lead the way in creativity, innovation, and in any area of artistry. We should not be following along behind culture. We should not be mimicking the rest of culture on creativity. Mute Math has provided us a look into what that should look like. Worship leaders of the world, take note. Learn to be the artisan that you are supposed to be.

Here's a link to "Elevator Music": http://www.f-forge.com/?d=uxjqs4n1zpJe0aVWk85y

If I find a place to buy it, GO BUY IT!!! I'm going to buy it as soon as I can find somewhere to buy it.

myspace & facebook closed

2006-11-27T13:08:00.000-05:00

My internet activity for the week will consist of only checking email and doing schoolwork. I might blog some, but no myspace and no facebook. Those are unnecessary distractions this week.

Copernican revolution

2006-11-27T12:19:00.000-05:00

Nicolaus Copernicus (February 19, 1473 – May 24, 1543) was an astronomer who provided the first modern formulation of a heliocentric (sun-centered) theory of the solar system. Up to this point in history, the earth was considered by most to be the center of the universe (geocentric...and also anthropocentric). Copernicus claimed that the earth was not the center with everything revolving around it. He claimed that the earth actually revolved around the sun, and that the sun, although not the center of the universe, was the center of the solar system to which the earth belongs.

This theory was so radical in his day that it has been deemed the "Copernican revolution." His theory radically shifted all scientific thought of his day. This changed the whole view and existence of mankind.

I write this afternoon to confess that I have a personal "geocentric theory" of existence and I need a "Copernican revolution" in my heart. Over this break, I have proven to myself again and again that I am a selfish creature with a selfish heart. I have proven to myself over and over how much I don't love Christ like I say I do. Love requires sacrifice, submission, and obedience. I have a hard time seeing those attributes in my life. I prove to God every day that I would rather have my mind and heart flooded with thoughts that are all about me and my desires than to flood myself with Himself. I saw a quote somewhere that read:

If you want to know where your heart is, look at where your mind goes when it wanders.

Jesus said something similar to that when he said:

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. [Luke 6.45]

This week, I ask for prayer. I am taking measures this week to make this revolution take place and I need your prayers. I feel like this is a crisis point in my spiritual walk , and I don't want to risk not doing anything about it. Fasting is a outward and physical act of an inward and spiritual sacrifice that I have not done in a long time. Extended prayer is a necessity. Ridding myself of pointless distractions will have to happen.

"The natural life in each of us is something self-centred, something that wants to be petted and admired, to take advantage of other lives, to exploit the whole universe." - C.S. Lewis
"[The natural life] knows that if the spiritual life gets hold of it, all its self-centredness and self-will are going to be killed and it is ready to fight tooth and nail to avoid that." - C.S. Lewis

-----------------------

Father, I pray that the Holy Spirit will haunt my every step. Haunt me, agitate me, agonize my soul. Besiege this pride in me and disquiet my compromising spirit. I ask that You would harass me and intrude on the hidden parts of my life. I beg You to torment this spirit of self-reliance that wants to live life without You. I ask that You frighten the depths of my soul with Your greatness. Haunt my every step, making my every hair stand on end and my knees tremble. Redeem this wretched life of mine for Your own purposes.

Christians of Inaction - Part 1

2006-11-23T00:58:00.000-05:00

I have decided that as I am inspired to write about Christians who love to run their mouths about issues or problems without putting their concern into action, I will post my frustrations. They will be short and to the point. Here is installment number 1.

One of the major "hot topic" political agendas of most conservative Christians in America is abortion. I'm not saying that it should be the major agenda; I'm just stating that it has become a major political agenda of Republicans that say they follow Jesus. They want abortion outlawed because they believe that each of those aborted children is a loved creation of God.

Here's my beef: If abortion is outlawed, then the population of America will skyrocket. Also, and more importantly, many of the babies that would have been aborted will then be born to a single mother in her teens who can not financially or responsibly care for a child. So, the best option for these children is adoption. However, adoption agencies can not find homes for the children they have currently, while abortions are still taking place. Children grow up being pushed off onto another foster family every year or two, treated as if they are worth nothing.

THEREFORE, I suggest of you, mouthy Christian of inaction, that if you think that the lives of these children are so important because they are a loved creation of God, then ADOPT THEM YOURSELF and SHOW THEM THAT LOVE.

Boo Indulgences!

2006-10-31T10:33:00.000-05:00

HAPPY REFORMATION DAY!!!

Voyage to Boston

2006-10-31T10:30:00.000-05:00

Prior to visiting Boston, I have had the opportunity to visit many other American cities, such as New York, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Washington, D.C., Charlotte, Indianapolis, and Orlando. However, my experiences in each of those other cities were rather different than my experience in Boston. Boston was unlike any other city I have ever visited before.
I flew into Logan International Airport in Boston on the morning of October 11. I was taken by car to the North Shore area to Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary where I would be spending the next two nights. The seminary allowed me to have Wednesday free to do what I wanted. So, I asked them to transport me to the nearest commuter rail station in South Hamilton so that I could get back into Boston. So I spent about seven hours in Boston on Wednesday. On Friday, I was transported back to the commuter rail because my stay at Gordon-Conwell was over. I took the commuter rail into Boston and dropped my bags off at my hotel for Friday evening so I could spend all day Friday seeing the rest of Boston. Overall, I was able to experience Boston for about 22-23 solid hours of touring.
My transportation was the commuter rail and the “T”, which is the Boston subway. The commuter rail is made up of many lines that head in all directions around the city to neighboring suburbs and residential areas. It cost around $10 to go roundtrip from South Hamilton to Boston and back. Once arriving in Boston from the commuter rail, I rode on the T. I purchased a 3-day pass for the T so that I could have unlimited use for three days. The T put me within an easy walking distance from anything in Boston. The other, and most used, form of transportation was my feet. Boston is known as “America’s Walking City” for good reason. Everything seemed to be accessible by foot. I even crossed over the Charles River to the northern side of Boston by foot. There are areas to walk everywhere. I really enjoyed the walking factor.
Some of the sites I visited are the typical tourist sites. I visited Faneuil Hall and Quincy Market, which is a block of old markets that were renovated to become modern market areas. I had an amazing meal of Boston baked beans, New England Clam Chowder, and Boston Cream Pie at a restaurant that has been there for decades (maybe over a century). I visited Copley Square, which is home to the Boston Public Library and Trinity Church. I visited the Old State House and the new Massachusetts State House. I also visited the Government Square, which houses Boston City Hall. I actually went inside the City Hall and found a demographics expert who graduated from MIT. He talked me through a lot of the reports on Boston demographics that are available through their website. I also visited the USS Constitution and a Navy destroyer battleship. I walked through Boston Common and the public garden beside it. It was beautiful and the squirrels were extremely friendly. I walked around Fenway Park, but did not pay the outrageous price to tour the inside. I also stopped by the original “Cheers” restaurant, known as the “Bull and Finch Pub”. I dropped by the Boston Symphony Orchestra house, but couldn’t get in. I saw the Christian Science Church Park, which has the “Mother Church” and their international headquarters. I spent some time on the campuses of Berklee College of Music and Harvard. I also walked through the North End, also known as “Little Italy” of Boston, and, of course, I ate Italian food for lunch while there.
After coming back and trying to collect all my thoughts from a cram-session of seeing Boston for a day and a half, I’m not sure how I feel about the city. I enjoyed the size and the amount of culture there. Boston has art galleries, museums, theatres, orchestra houses, even Berklee College of Music. I loved the culture and arts in Boston. The city has a high value for the arts. There are multiple art galleries and even multiple art institutes, such as the Institute of Contemporary Art. They also have Berklee, which is one of the leading music schools in the world. They also have the world-renowned Boston Symphonic Orchestra. I also was able to find on the map many theatres and even performance art institutes. Just walking around Berklee was amazing to see, as tons of students walked up and down the streets with musical instrument cases of all kinds. I really appreciated and was excited to see the high appreciation for the arts in Boston. I think through the art districts could be a wonderful way into some of the sub-cultures of Boston.
I enjoyed the young population of Boston. Everywhere that I went, I found college students. They were on the T, on the sidewalks, in the restaurants, in the parks, etc. Boston really is a “college town,” with a list that includes Harvard, MIT, Boston College, Boston University, Northeastern University, Berklee College of Music, and many, many more. I felt as though I could belong in the culture because of the younger, college-age population.
The North End was interesting to see because it truly was Italian in many aspects. The people have truly kept their culture within America. One guy on the street, after trying to convince me to come in a particular restaurant to eat their pasta, he proceeded to yell something across the street to a friend of his. It seemed like something straight out of an Italian movie. I was intrigued to see this sub-culture that has dominated a particular area of the city and has made their sub-culture become the culture of the North End. From eavesdropping on a conversation of two people walking near me on the street, there is a strong homosexual sub-culture that has dominated the South End. However, I did not get the chance to visit the South End area of Boston during my day and a half in the city.
The city was completely different to me than all the other cities I’ve visited because of the historical and preserved aura of the city. I couldn’t find that same feeling in Manhattan, Pasadena, Beverly Hills, or much anywhere else. The closest city to compare that feeling with would possibly be Washington, D.C., but even that city feels rather different than Boston did. I certainly felt as though I was in a complete different culture at times while I was there. It felt like “New England” because of the history and preservation of culture there.
As for a spiritual conclusion of my time in Boston, there definitely is an extreme lack of Christianity in Boston, especially evangelical Christianity. I saw a few Catholic churches, Episcopal churches, and Unitarian Universalist churches. Outside of those, I really didn’t see any. I saw one storefront church that seemed to be doing ministry “outside the box” a little bit. There really isn’t a Christian sub-culture in Boston. The Christianity of Boston has to be microscopic compared to the masses of people in Boston. That made me feel both excited and frightened. I’m not positive that Boston is where God is leading me. I felt nervous about planting there, but I think that could easily just be my own human fears. I know that if God has that in His plan for me, He will provide for me the strength and resources to make it happen.
I also saw Jim Gaffigan perform at the Berklee Performance Center on Friday night, which was indescribable.
Now that I'm back, I have to read through and analyze around 300 pages of demographic reports put out by the Boston Redevelopment Authority so I can do my project on urban analysis for church planting. Fun fun.
If you want to see more of my pictures from Boston, go to my albums on facebook. I have two albums from my Boston trip.

Coming Soon: Boston Trip Post...

2006-10-18T23:39:00.000-05:00

I'm just posting really quick to let you know (whoever "you" might be) that I will write a long post about my trip to Boston and Gordon-Conwell, along with my ever-evolving thoughts about where I might end up after this May. It's good stuff...and will involve pictures. Everyone loves a blog with pictures. Anyways, goodnight for now. Check back soon.

The Lazy Blogger

2006-09-26T20:15:00.000-05:00

I was at lunch today having a conversation with Katie Sullivan and Dr. Rogers, and Dr. Rogers told me that he had found my blog and reminded me that it was quite out-of-date. So I decided to write again in the midst of a few free moments. So how do I sum up a great semester so far? I'll do a list!

1. Revival among the athletic teams (including approx. 17 or 18 athletes meeting Jesus)...SO AWESOME!!!
2. Reading so many good books (particularly about evangelism, missional lifestyle, and urban church planting)
3. Trip details are set to go to Boston from Oct. 11-14.
4. My iPod was stolen, unfortunately.
5. Meeting new people, including lots of freshman and athletes
6. Having an awesome time working with Katie Sullivan running the Honors Freshman Seminar and planning social events for them.
7. Evangelism & Missions class is so sweet. We get to start each class hearing more about what people are doing to show the love of Jesus to others.
8. I usually go to NewSpring in the evenings on Sundays...this past Sunday, there were about 7 or 8 SWU people that met Jesus that night. The best night of my semester by far, all because of those people!!!
9. I love being a student chaplain. The team I work with just rocks. They have so much to bring to the table. The chapels this semester really have been a step above past semesters, not that we had a whole lot to do with that.
10. My D-group starts Thursday. We're going through "The Barbarian Way" by Erwin McManus. Did I mention that Erwin is the man?
11. I taught my first college class because I'm a TA under Dr. Black and he was out of town. It was sort of fun.
12. I am finishing up the planning for my seminar that I'll be doing at the Religion Division Retreat this coming weekend. I hope it really inspires us all. It really has kicked my butt as I've been going through it.

I'm not sure what else to write about. That's my semester. What am I learning? Most of all, love people unconditionally and spend your life helping the ones who need you most. For me, I feel like that means the ones who need the love of Jesus in their lives. I'll stop at nothing to make sure I live up to that. I've spent three years of my college career staying away from the ones I should have been pouring into since day one. I am praying that the rest of us Christ-followers on campus would catch fire on that same mission and live it out. Mission is why we exist.

Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, calls this missional lifestyle "reformission." Here is a quote from one of his books called "A Radical Reformission":

Reformission is ultimately about being like Jesus, through his empowering grace. One of the underlying keys to reformission is knowing that neither the freedom of Christ nor our freedom in Christ is intended to permit us to dance as close to sin as possible without crossing the line. But both are intended to permit us to dance as close to sinners as possible by crossing the lines that unnecessarily separate the people God has found from those he is still seeking. To be a Christian, literally, is to be a "little Christ." It is imperative that Christians be like Jesus, by living freely within the culture as missionaries who are as faithful to the Father and his gospel as Jesus was in his own time and place.
I am advocating not sin but freedom. That freedom is denied by many traditions and theological systems because they fear that some people will use their freedom to sin against Christ. But rules, regulations, and the pursuit of outward morality are ultimately incapable of preventing sin. They can only, at best, rearrange the flesh and get people to stop drinking, smoking, and having sex, only to start being proud of their morality. Jesus' love for us and our love for him are, frankly, the only tethers that will keep us from abusing our freedom, yet they will enable us to venture as far into the culture and into relationships with lost people as Jesus did, because we go with him. (pp.39-40)

God is too good to me

2006-06-28T23:20:00.000-05:00

Bros, I am on top of a mountain in West Virginia at Snowshoe Ski Resort, looking out as the clouds roll over the endless landscape. God is so big and so good. I deserve none of these opportunities that He has given me. I have to be brief. I am using the wireless internet in the lobby of the ski lodge while my kids are in the rooms "sleeping". So I need to get back soon.

But, I have one thing to share. (Context: Jonah is angry that God gave mercy to Nineveh after they repented. He is also angry that the vine that was providing him with shade had just died)

Jonah 4:10-11
10 But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?"

Just a glimpse at God's heart for the masses of the cities. Listen to God's passion for redeeming the cities and the masses that call those cities 'home'.

Mosaic main page

2006-06-06T23:51:00.000-05:00

Go check out Mosaic's website. They have pictures from the Origins conference. One of those pictures would be:

Bittersweet Change in my summer

2006-06-03T21:34:00.000-05:00

Well, I am in a hotel in Archdale, NC right now and I will be traveling with the ministry team to two churches tomorrow. My internship ended on May 31 and I drove back to SWU on June 1. That was sad. I didn't want to leave AT ALL. I loved the church. I loved getting to know the people and working with the staff. I love the vision and mission they have for Indianapolis. Emily had just arrived up there on that previous Monday for her two-month internship and I was leaving. What a bummer. To all in Indy, if you ever stumble upon this, I loved my time up there. I wish I could have stayed long enough to actually get to know a lot of you. I hope and pray that God will lead me there again. Crux staff, you guys are awesome. Only being there for three weeks allowed me the great opportunity to pick your brains and learn a lot. You have an awesome vision, passion, and mission for the city and beyond. Keep showing that to the people. Don't ever waver in that.
Even though I REALLY did not want to leave Indy, I am now with my team and I am loving it. I know the summer will have its stress points, but I am LOVING the chance to play with these guys again. They are so talented. I love it. Check one of my earlier posts for a traveling schedule. I don't get much cell phone signal at camps, but leave voice mail messages and I'll call you back! Stay classy, San Diego!

Wow!

2006-05-26T16:23:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm back in Indianapolis now. LA was amazing. I almost wish I wouldn't have boarded the plane to leave. It was such an awesome experience. The conference was amazing and the whole experience was awesome. Wednesday night was really cool. While everyone else in America was watching the American Idol finale, I was there. I didn't get to be inside the Kodak Theatre during the live performance of the show, but I was at the Kodak Theatre while it was going on live inside. I also was around for the after party outside of the Kodak Theatre when all the stars were interviewed and such. Here's a few pics from there:

I also walked down Sunset Blvd. after the American Idol stuff. That was a trip, hanging out in Hollywood for the evening.

Well, back to Indiana.

LA is sweet!

2006-05-22T23:28:00.000-05:00

Hey from the west coast! LA is awesome! When I was landing in LAX Saturday night, I looked in all directions, and all I could see in any direction was masses of lights--all the way to the horizon. It was unbelievable. My flight arrived around 9:30pm (which was 12:30am to my body). The staff's flight got in around 10:50pm (which was 1:50am). We picked up our rental car (red Sebring Convertible) and headed towards the hotel. Within one mile of our hotel is an In & Out Burger (has the same cult-like following as Cookout does in NC) and Starbucks (all you need in life). So we decide to hit up In & Out before going to the hotel. It was 12:45am at this time, which to us, was 3:45am. Greasy burgers at 3:45am...that's just asking for it. So we finally went to bed around 1:15 or so (4:15 to us).
Sunday, we spent all day traveling to the three different sites for Mosaic services to see how they did them all. So we went to the 9am service in Pasadena. It was awesome. They had a great setup, kickin band, great message (Erwin McManus), and the spirit of God definitely was moving there. Then we drove over for an 11am service Beverly Hills site (which they do in the auditorium of Beverly Hills High School). It was cool too, although the atmosphere was quite different (same message by Erwin). Then we went to In & Out Burger for lunch (animal style!) and walked around an art fair in Beverly Hills while Bentleys and Rolls Royces drove beside us. I also drove down Sunset Blvd. through Hollywood. I saw a lot of different places that are really famous and stuff, including the Hollywood sign and the sidewalk of the stars.
In the evening, Mosaic has two downtown LA services at 5pm and 7pm. The location...a place called The Mayan. What is "The Mayan?" A nightclub. They get to use the place on Sunday nights (except one Sunday night they had to do the service on the roof because CSI:Miami was filming a scene inside there that night. But, anyways,...yeah...a nightclub. It was so sweet. The whole building was Mayan themed. The sound system was sick nasty! The service was great. They had a guy painting on a small side area (not on the main stage area). That was interesting. At these services and at the Pasadena services in the morning, they have a DJ from the congregation scratch with some beats. How cool. This is our generations "prelude" music. I love it! I hope God blesses the congregation that I have the opportunity of leading with DJ's and people who will use their artistic abilities to bring glory to God. One of the greatest experiences during all of these services was when I looked around (on stage and in the crowd) and saw people from every continent, of every color of skin, and not many white people. 50 nations are represented in Mosaic. Just take the band for example. Hispanic, Asian, Black, and White (only one white person). It was so awesome to worship in that kind of environment. The majority of all the Mosaic staff and volunteers are minorities of ALL kinds (mostly Asian and Hispanic). It was so cool. I loved it. All I could think about was: He has brought the nations to us. Now it is our responsibility to meet them where they are. And where are they? THE MAJOR CITIES OF AMERICA.
The Origins conference started this morning. Great stuff. So far, it has mostly been re-hashing the same stuff that was written about in "The Unstoppable Force." I finished that book on the plane Saturday night, so it's still fresh on the brain. By the way, anyone and everyone (ESPECIALLY pastors and those training for vocational ministry) NEEDS to read that book. I read it in a week, went through a highlighter on it, and plan to read it again hopefully in the fall. I plan to go through some key points from the book on the blog for some discussion. That walk through the book on here will hopefully take place during the fall. Origins is great so far though.
I started reading "Under the Overpass" today. It's starting off to be a good read. It's about a college student who, with his buddy, lived with the homeless for six months to make sure his faith in Jesus was real. Wow. What a step forward.
Another quick comment: The church has done a great job of making everyone become a majority member. We do not step out of the mold, live above minimum standards in morality (while living as lavishly above minimum as possible in possessions and lifestyle). We have created an environment that squashes all possibility of dreaming, having visions, being creative, showing devotion to God in creative or artistic ways. Look through the history of the world. The great thinkers, innovators, composers, writers, etc. came from a Christian society which nourished creativity and innovation. However, a shift in the Church happened at some point when we stopped creating an environment that invited creativity and innovation. We don't want people to think or create. We have created a church of spectating and passivity. Where are our great poets? Where are our great composers? Where are our great thinkers? Where are our great innovators? Where are our visionaries? Where are our dreamers? Where are those who will shape the future? Where are those who will create culture instead of just try to keep up? Let's create an environment that will nurture these artisans, innovators, and visionaries. The imagination and creativity are the abilities that God gave us that are closest to having the power of God. If we squash or hinder that, are we destroying part of God's ability to work in mankind? How dare us.

Today, strike up a conversation with someone that you have never talked to before. In the conversation, make sure to ask them this random question: What plans do you have for the next five years? I really don't know why I decided to write this, but maybe you should do it anyways. Awaken individuals to what God meant for them to be by faith, hope and love in Jesus Christ.

City of Angels

2006-05-20T12:02:00.000-05:00

My flight leaves in four hours. At 9:30pm (Pacific Time), I will be in Los Angeles. I'll be back Thursday night next week. Until then, adios!

Poster Child of the Prosperity Gospel

2006-05-19T13:11:00.000-05:00

Joel Osteen, pastor of Lakewood Church in Houston, TX, is the poster child of the prosperity gospel. By the prosperity gospel, I mean the teaching that health and wealth are certain, guaranteed, and the most important outcomes of God's work in a person's life--it is guaranteed in Christ to find health and wealth. This is why Lakewood Church was running around 46,000 attendees each Sunday in 2005 and meeting in the 16,000 seat Compaq Center, former home of the Houston Rockets.
Joel Osteen truly does believe this prosperity gospel, and doesn't seem to show much compassion outside of wealth. He lives in a home that is appraised to be worth $2.5 million (in the same subdivision as former president George H. W. Bush). Osteen advertises his best-selling book multiple times each time he speaks on his television broadcasts. Lakewood Church refused its stadium facilities (which can house thousands) to evacuees from the Katrina tragedy. The core statement of Lakewood Church is "Discover the Champion in You." Click this link to his profile on his church's website. Tell me, what is he all about: the need for Christ's love and grace for the redemption of mankind for the glory of God or the motivation of people to gain worldly success on their own, without the need of help, gifts, or blessing from God to do anything?

Can you imagine a church of 800,000? Is that crazy or what? Well, it's true. The Yoido Full Gospel Church is estimated over 800,000 in 2006. (Click here for their English website.) It is the largest Christian congregation ever (even made it into the Guinness Book of World Records). It is based out of Seoul, South Korea. The city is split into numerous cell groups and now there are cell groups beings started throughout Korea, Asia, and the world. The church has 171 ordained pastors and 356 lay pastors. The lead pastor, Dr. David Yonggi Cho, founded the church in 1958, and has been its lead pastor since. Early in the ministry, he began preaching what he called the "Three Fold Blessing" or the "Full Gospel." This theology of his says that physical health and financial prosperity are as much a part of God's will for Christians as the salvation of the soul. (Excuse me a second...I had to go the bathroom and vomit.) No wonder people flock to him in the hundreds of thousands. I would too if a guy promised me, with divine authority, health and wealth. Too bad those are not the words of God.

People don't want to hear that they must take up their cross, die to themselves first, and live for the sake of Christ. They don't want to understand baptism as a water grave, a death of the self and a rising of the self in Christ. I am sickened at the thought that the biggest church in America and the biggest church in the world are preaching a false Christ, a disillusioned hope, and a selfish need for Christ. I am disgusted that they would use Christ, who lived in poverty while on earth, to preach faith and reliance on worldly wealth, which points to humanity's ability, rather preaching faith and reliance on the love and grace of Jesus Christ, which points to God's glory and majesty. We have made the center of Christianity our own well-being, when all along it was all about God's glory. The Church must create an ethos that relies on God, does not seek happiness in wealth, and sees success through the eyes of Christ.

Experience of a lifetime

2006-05-16T12:25:00.000-05:00

It's 1:30 in the afternoon on Tuesday. It's finally not raining for once, but the sun is still shy, hiding behind the canopy of gray that has covered me since I arrived here last week. I'm sitting in Panera Bread on my lunch break, eating a great lunch and enjoying their wireless. The internship is awesome as always. Yesterday was my day off, so I ventured around Indiana. I first went to IWU in the morning to check out the campus. WOW. They have so many buildings. Their student center was really sweet. They have a sweet prayer chapel. The religion division basically has their own building for offices and classrooms. They had a pool, nice gym, racquetball courts, nice weightroom, all the sweet stuff. It was really cool. I still love SWU though! No doubt! While I was at IWU, I made a point to meet at least two people: Ken Schenck and Steve DeNeff. Over the past semester, I've been in email and blogging conversations with Ken about seminaries and such. So I wanted to finally meet him in person (Ken, even though it was only for ten minutes, it was still good to meet you). I also wanted to meet Steve DeNeff in person because I've heard far too much about him to miss the chance and I also read two of his books ("More Than Forgiveness" and "Whatever Became of Holiness") this past semester. It was cool to have a few minutes to connect with him about his books and stuff. I also met Charlie Alcock while I was up there. From IWU, I went further north to Plymouth to surprise Josh Woods at his office at Plymouth Wesleyan Church. I found my way there without him knowing and I strolled right into his office. The look on his face was priceless as he stared at me speechless for about 15 seconds. I ended up staying up there for dinner with Josh and Jess. It was good seeing them again.

The internship is great. The service Sunday morning was great. Daron did a great job unpacking the idea that God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others. The worship center has a great atmosphere. The music was also a great time to show love and honor to God. The Erwin McManus book is so sweet! Erwin's ideas are exactly where my heart is; Erwin is just able to unpack it in a way that I couldn't in my own thoughts. I am so excited about seeing him speak in person when I go to LA. I'm still not sure if I have fully comprehended that I am going to LA on Saturday. I don't think it's soaked in yet.

My last words for this post: So much is rolling through my head right now. All kinds of thoughts and philosophies on ministry are pumping through me right now and I'm trying to sort and filter it all to gain a better perspective on life, ministry, the Church, and serving God to the fullest.

I do firmly believe that: The next purposeful mission that the Wesleyan Church HAS to undertake is reaching the cities. I don't have time in my lunch hour to really dig into reasons, but here's the basic premise: Millions of people are in the cities and the world is exponentially becoming more urbanized. We HAVE to not just become students of God's word, but also students of culture. We HAVE to shape the church (without losing integrity or the message) to meet people in the culture that they are in. We HAVE to pour tons of our resources (including most of our students) into the cities. We HAVE to risk it all, spend and be spent, in the mission of the cities. The Wesleyan Church has done an amazing job of preaching a rural gospel and reaching the rural areas. NOW IS THE TIME to go to the harder places and reach multi-cultural areas, the cities. If the church takes a hit financially or in resources or whatever, at least we risked it for the sake of the gospel, the glory of God, and the chance to reach MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of people that we are CURRENTLY FORSAKING. Even martyrs didn't reach the goal and survive. But we don't consider them failures. Better to die serving out of love where it is needed than to live in survival mode on Easy St. and forsake the mission and purpose of the Church.

There's my rant. Please let the Holy Spirit move in your heart as He is in mine right now. Please comment with your own thoughts.

God's love be with you all!

Another rainy day...

2006-05-13T17:24:00.000-05:00

I still haven't seen the sun in Indy. Quite sad. However, things are awesome up here. My first few days have been amazing. I have had some eye-opening experiences at the church. It's great to pick these guys' brains to find out what makes them and what makes this church tick. All three guys on staff and all the people I've met on leadership here are just great people. I'm so glad that I at least get a few weeks up here, although I'd love to have more. Daron bought me "The Unstoppable Force" by Erwin McManus. He wants me to read it before I leave. I read through chapter two today in Starbucks, and I have to say that book is awesome. What Erwin is saying resonates with my own heart so well. His passion and vision for the Church is amazing and his insight in explaining how the Church should be working is mind-blowing. Speaking of Erwin McManus, he is the leader at Mosaic Church in Los Angeles. Mosaic puts on an annual conference called "Origins." This year the conference is May 22-24. The staff at The Crux go to this conference every year. Erwin McManus has been a huge inspiration for Daron and his theology of the Church and how it should be done. Well, as of Friday morning, I was not going to LA next week. As of Friday afternoon, I booked a flight to LA next week and The Crux is paying my registration for the Origins conference. Heck yeah! I'm going to California next Saturday! How crazy is that! So sweet! Maybe I'll get to see the sun out there...

Well I'm done eating at Panera Bread and using up their free wireless internet. Talk to you later!

Rain, rain, go away

2006-05-12T08:25:00.000-05:00

At 8:30am on Wednesday, I left home (SWU, I mean) and went on a quest for a new frontier of opportunity known as Indianapolis, Indiana. Against my mother's wishes, I only made one stop for gas. I just didn't feel like stopping. So I arrived in Indy around 5:30pm. I arrived at my new home for the next few weeks. I'm living with Ryan Shepherd's family. It's...huge. One of the houses in their neighborhood makes me think of the huge house that Tony "Scarface" Montana had in the movie "Scarface." I've been here since Wednesday evening, and I still haven't seen or met Ryan's parents. Something else I haven't seen since I arrived in Indiana is the sun. It has been rainy since I crossed into Indiana. What a downer.

"The Crux" is the church that I am interning at. It's really sweet. The church just moved into its current location last month. It was meeting in a movie theater. Now they meet in a leased space in an industrial building. I had time to connect with the staff and some of the leaders here. They all seem to be awesome people with big hearts for God and people. I'm learning how The Crux is structured around small groups and I'm beginning to really like the idea. One thing Daron explained last night at the Lead Team meeting was that some churches don't have small groups (very traditional), some churches have small groups (moderately traditional church), some churches are built around small groups (The Crux model), and some churches are small groups (cell/house churches). I think The Crux model is really innovative in its method of building all of its ministry and leadership around small groups. Later on I'll get into their mission and vision as a church. Basic rundown: This will be a great three weeks.

P.S. - I don't have internet at the house I'm staying at. So, if you need me, call the cell.

Vision Become Reality

2006-05-08T23:42:00.000-05:00

It was July 6, 2005. I was traveling with "The Difference" ministry team for SWU. I was at NC West Clubhouse camp. I was sitting at a picnic table near the snack shop. It was just like any other day. I was reading out of "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers as I did everyday that summer. However, this day was about to turn me upside down. I came across that highlighted page again today as I was scanning through some books during packing. I felt as though I should share it with you.

"Visions Become Reality"

The parched ground shall become a pool . . . —Isaiah 35:7

We always have a vision of something before it actually becomes real to us. When we realize that the vision is real, but is not yet real in us, Satan comes to us with his temptations, and we are inclined to say that there is no point in even trying to continue. Instead of the vision becoming real to us, we have entered into a valley of humiliation.

Life is not as idle ore,
But iron dug from central gloom,
And battered by the shocks of doom
To shape and use.

God gives us a vision, and then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of that vision. It is in the valley that so many of us give up and faint. Every God-given vision will become real if we will only have patience. Just think of the enormous amount of free time God has! He is never in a hurry. Yet we are always in such a frantic hurry. While still in the light of the glory of the vision, we go right out to do things, but the vision is not yet real in us. God has to take us into the valley and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the point where He can trust us with the reality of the vision. Ever since God gave us the vision, He has been at work. He is getting us into the shape of the goal He has for us, and yet over and over again we try to escape from the Sculptor’s hand in an effort to batter ourselves into the shape of our own goal.

The vision that God gives is not some unattainable castle in the sky, but a vision of what God wants you to be down here. Allow the Potter to put you on His wheel and whirl you around as He desires. Then as surely as God is God, and you are you, you will turn out as an exact likeness of the vision. But don’t lose heart in the process. If you have ever had a vision from God, you may try as you will to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never allow it.

God, I beg that You continue to batter me into the shape of the vision that You have for me. Do not let me try to do it on my own. I also beg that you would batter others into the shape of the visions that You have for them. I pray that these visions would be God-sized visions, not puny man-sized visions. Man-sized visions are too small, too easy, too comfortable. Break our comfort so that Your glory will be known everywhere, even in the places that we do not want to go.

Finalized Summer Plans

2006-05-06T22:55:00.000-05:00

So here's the news everybody has been waiting for so they can now plan their summer (just kidding). But, seriously, here's the rundown of my summer:

May 10-June 1 - Interning with Daron Earlewine @ The Crux - Indianapolis, IN
May 20-25 - Origins Conference at Mosaic with The Crux staff - Los Angeles, CA

Ministry Team Schedule:

June 4 (AM) - Memorial Park Wesleyan Church - Thomasville, NC
June 4 (PM) - First Wesleyan Church - Wilson, NC
June 11 (AM) - First Wesleyan Church - Kannapolis, NC
June 11-16 - Camp Wesley - Kannapolis, NC
June 16-17 - Campus Challenge - SWU Campus
June 18-24 - Indiana North Jr. High Camp - Somewhere, IN
June 26-July 1 - Shenandoah District Camp - Snowshoe, WV
July 1-2 - Vinton Wesleyan Church - Vinton, VA
July 2-8 - Hanover Friends Camp - Somewhere, VA
July 9-15 - Camp Rockfish - Parkton, NC
July 19-22 - South Coastal District Family Camp - Auburn, AL
July 24-29 - Eastern NY/New England District Camp - West Chazy, NY
July 29-30 - Community Wesleyan Church - Baldwinsville, NY

Sacred time

2006-05-03T01:55:00.000-05:00

From 1 Maccabees (from the Apocrypha):

1:20 And after that Antiochus had smitten Egypt, he returned again in
the hundred forty and third year, and went up against Israel and
Jerusalem with a great multitude,
1:21 And entered proudly into the sanctuary, and took away the
golden altar, and the candlestick of light, and all the vessels
thereof,
1:22 And the table of the shewbread, and the pouring vessels, and the
vials. and the censers of gold, and the veil, and the crown, and the
golden ornaments that were before the temple, all which he pulled
off.
1:23 He took also the silver and the gold, and the precious vessels: also
he took the hidden treasures which he found.
1:24 And when he had taken all away, he went into his own land,
having made a great massacre, and spoken very proudly.
1:25 Therefore there was a great mourning in Israel, in every place
where they were;...
1:29 And after two years fully expired the king sent his chief collector
of tribute unto the cities of Juda, who came unto Jerusalem with a
great multitude,
1:30 And spake peaceable words unto them, but all was deceit: for
when they had given him credence, he fell suddenly upon the city,
and smote it very sore, and destroyed much people of Israel...
1:37 Thus they shed innocent blood on every side of the sanctuary,
and defiled it:
1:38 Insomuch that the inhabitants of Jerusalem fled because of them:
whereupon the city was made an habitation of strangers, and
became strange to those that were born in her; and her own
children left her.
1:39 Her sanctuary was laid waste like a wilderness, her feasts were
turned into mourning, her sabbaths into reproach her honour into
contempt.
1:40 As had been her glory, so was her dishonour increased, and her
excellency was turned into mourning.
1:41 Moreover king Antiochus wrote to his whole kingdom, that all should...
1:45 forbid burnt offerings, and sacrifice, and drink offerings, in
the temple; and that they should profane the sabbaths and festival
days:...
1:47 Set up altars, and groves, and chapels of idols, and sacrifice
swine's flesh, and unclean beasts.

I apologize for the freshman and others who took it all too seriously (granted, your intentions weren't perfectly clear and our sacred time was being invaded). I'm sure you never wanted to make us mad, and none of us should have done anything on purpose to make you mad. The majority of us that were stalling at school weren't mad and were only playing along with your little game.

Touché. Nice joke. Lighthearted and all in good fun, I'm sure.

BUT, do not get mad when one prank is met with another in return.

Almost done

2006-04-28T15:49:00.000-05:00

Two more exams done today. I didn't do so hot on them, but oh well. My grades this semester will still be acceptable. One more week of exam week. I have one exam, one paper, and one presentation. Then I'm off for the summer. The school finally decided to not try to burden ministry teams with living on the sidewalk out of a 45 gallon tub for the summer. They finally gave us housing (even though we still have to move all our junk back out near the end of the summer and back into fall housing later). Thanks Chuck Mealy for helping us out as much as you could.
Speaking of the end of the semester, THE party is coming up. Thursday, April 28. Apt. A South. 8pm until whenever. If you think you didn't get enough 90's in your grades this semester, we'll make up for it at the party. All the 90's music hits from your carefree days before college exams. Come party like it's 1999!
By the way, I AM DONE WITH GREEK!!! FOUR SEMESTERS DONE!!! I MADE IT!
Tomorrow night is the 'Global Night Commute' for the 'Invisible Children.' It's still not too late to join in the commute in your local city.
Last night we had a farewell party for Abraham Deng. He is one of the "Lost Boys," which is a group of refugees from Sudan who were brought to America to gain an education. Through the grace of many amazing people, over $18,000 have been raised for Abraham and Peter to go back to see their family. Abraham hasn't seen them for 19 years. He'll be over there for a couple months this summer. At the party last night, we watched a documentary on the "Lost Boys." Seeing that video and realizing more of the tragedies across the globe makes me want to become a social activist, spending my life fighting for those who can not fight for themselves. I am blessed to come from a heritage that teaches to preach the Gospel for the redemption of people, but also to help those in need and to bring about change in society. The liberal social gospel goes too far by denying the necessity of the change of heart towards Jesus. The other extreme has went too far as well, preaching the gospel to the poor, naked, hungry, and persecuted but not helping them in their present circumstances. We MUST do both. Jesus Christ washed hearts of guilt from sin, but also cleansed leprosy from bodies and told a lame man "Take up your mat and go home" (Mark 2:11).
Well that's all I can think of for now.

aut Deus aut nihil

who reads titles anyways...

2006-04-20T21:57:00.000-05:00

I just got back from a concert in Folger Auditorium on campus. Two bands played. The first band was 'Hidden Presence' and the second was 'Roscoe'. They both sound great. I'm slightly (or extremely) partial to 'Hidden Presence' because of their amazing drummer. Steve is the man. I'm thrilled that I get to travel with him again this summer and play music with him all summer long.

Speaking of summer, so here's the rundown of my summer:
I'll be leaving SWU on May 7 or 8 (after being an usher in graduation and moving into summer housing) for Indianapolis. I will be in Indy for an internship with Daron Earlewine at 'The Crux', which is an Wesleyan urban church plant (yeah...who would have thought the words 'Wesleyan' and 'urban church plant' could be in the same phrase?). Daron was the visionary for that church and helped in the building of that church from the ground up. So I plan to learn a lot from him about church planting, especially in the urban context. I also had the chance to hear Daron speak here at SWU for 'Spiritual Emphasis Week' in Fall 2005, and I thought he was an amazing communicator. So I hope to learn a lot about effective communicating/preaching from him as well. Daron emailed me today and informed me that I'm scheduled to preach at 'The Crux' on May 21. His exact words were:

But I figured we would throw you in the deep end and see if you drown. Talk to you soon…
Daron

So I guess the "Jesus is my lifeguard" analogy could fit for this one.
I'll be in Indy until June 1 or 2. When I leave Indy, I will drive straight back to SWU. I'll rest and relax for maybe a couple hours. Then I'll practice with 'The Difference' for a full day or two on campus. Then, I will hit the road, traveling with the band again until mid-August. What a summer! It's going to be amazing. When I get a final schedule, I'll post it up on here.

One reason Spring is amazing: lizards on the sidewalk outside the apartments. Those lizards are awesome.

In one year...just one year...

2006-04-19T01:40:00.000-05:00

One of the things that I think us guys hate most is showing weakness, or being exposed. I'm going to type anyways.

Sometimes I find myself fearing graduation. I'm so excited to see it come for many reasons, but I fear it for other reasons. One of the main reasons why I fear graduation is because I wonder what will happen to my close group of friends that I have leaned on through these years. I wonder what will happen to the bond that I have with them? I tend to think that they wouldn't continue to grow. Sometimes I think about the fact that if I go to Boston, no one is going with me. The closest Wesleyan will be in New York state. The closest "close friend" from here will probably be no closer than Virginia or Maryland (which is at least 8 or 10 hours away). I understand that we all are moving out into all areas of this world as God leads us, so that we can serve Him as we should; but I still find myself sometimes fearing the thought of being out there alone, with no base of support to lean on. Growing up with no brothers and sisters, I have always found my support and help from my closest friends. I have always had a few in my life that I can lean on when I'm discouraged, talk to about decisions, or do the very same for them. It is fearful for me to think about not having someone to lean on. What will happen to the friendships we make here? How are we supposed to keep them strong? How are we supposed to make sure we don't lose the friendships we have made?

Those are the questions I wonder about tonight. Those are the questions that strike fear tonight.

invisible children :: end a war

2006-04-16T23:19:00.000-05:00

'Invisible Children' is a movement started by three guys who took the initiative to live beyond themselves. Here's the rundown: Uganda has been in civil war for over 20 years. Rebel groups have made northern Uganda a wasteland of poverty. Each night the rebel military groups come through the towns to kidnap tons of children (of all young ages), brainwash them, and make them fighters for the rebel group. Each night thousands of children walk up to ten kilometers to reach a "safehouse" where they can sleep for the night, safe from being abducted. In these "safehouses," hundreds of them sleep in the same room, literally sleeping on top of each other. Then the children walk back to their home, with no chance of schooling because of this life. They have to do this commute to a safehouse EVERY NIGHT OF THEIR LIFE just to stay safe from abduction.

These three guys went over to Uganda and made a short documentary about it. It has been shown to the UN, the Capital, and some clips on television. They also have a video podcast that you need to subscribe to. Most of all, they are starting an international movement to create awareness for these "invisible children" and hopefully get the world to do something about it.
They are doing what they call a "Global Night Commute". It will be on the night of April 29 in 130 cities. Each person signs up to commute to a major city on the website and meet with the other commuters. Each person will sleep outside or where the designated area is in each city. The last numbers I saw had 25,000 people signed up in the US on the website. While there, you will be given materials to write a letter to a senator about this war in Uganda. Please visit the website and help out. Be part of a movement to end the longest running war in Africa. Join with these "invisible children" and represent them to the world. Be a voice for them since they can't speak for themselves to the world. If you go to SWU or live in the upstate SC area, join up in Anderson, SC. Otherwise, find a local city on the website.

Join with these children and give them a voice! Help end a war.

The Reign of Christ as the Rightful King

2006-04-16T07:46:00.000-05:00

On Easter, the black cloth on the cross from Good Friday is replaced with a white cloth or a purple cloth. The black symbolizes death and defeat, as we remember that Jesus was in the grave for three days; the white symbolizes life and the resurrection (although, in the Far East, white is the color of death and mourning). The purple cloth seen in this picutre symbolizes the rightful kingship of Jesus as He is resurrected back to life to reign over all creation. Praise to Him who reigns!

Our God Reigns!
Our God Reigns!
Forever Your Kingdom Reigns!

I just got back from leading worship at the Sunrise service at my church in Salisbury. Although singing at 7am is not the easiest thing in the world, it was a great time of worship. As I planned the set for this morning, I wanted the overall theme to declare Jesus' rightful place on the throne as king. I wanted to focus on his power and his kingship. He had power over sin and death, and he has power over all the earth. Here was my set list from this morning:

Raise Up the Crown (All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name)
This is Our God (chorus only)

This is the One we have waited for
This is the One we have waited for
This is the One we have waited for
Jesus, Lord and Savior

(then my version of the chorus)

You are the One we have waited for
You are the One we have waited for
You are the One we have waited for
Jesus, Lord and Savior

I Exalt Thee
How Great is Our God
------------------------------------------------

But when they did not find them, they dragged Jason and some other brothers before the city officials, shouting: "These men who have caused trouble all over the world have now come here, and Jason has welcomed them into his house. They are all defying Caesar's decrees, saying that there is another king, one called Jesus."
[Acts 17:6-7]

Rejoice!

2006-04-15T23:54:00.000-05:00

Our Savior has risen! He was dead, but He is alive! The tomb is empty. He has defeated death and sin. He has shown perfect love for us. He is now alive to reign as King! You are holy!

Christ is risen!
Truly He is risen!

You are the One we have waited for
You are the One we have waited for
You are the One we have waited for
Jesus, Lord and Savior
[part of my set list for worship in the Sunrise service]

Love one another

2006-04-15T12:39:00.000-05:00

In John 13, we find John's account of the day before Jesus' death. Before the Passover meal, Jesus gets down on the floor with a basin of water and a towel and begins to wash the disciples' feet. Then, they partake in the Lord's Supper.
This is the night that we remember as Maundy Thursday. The word "maundy" comes from Middle English "maunde. The word originates from the Latin word "mandatum, which means commandment or mandate. This word shows up in the Latin translation of John 13. After Jesus washes their feet and has the Lord's Supper, he proceeds to say:

"Now is the Son of Man glorified and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will glorify the Son in himself, and will glorify him at once. My children, I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: Where I am going, you cannot come. A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." [John 13:31-35]

Is it coincidence that Jesus gives this "new command" on the same night as washing their feet and the Lord's Supper? I don't believe so. I think it was certainly purposeful that Jesus said this after the Lord's Supper. The disciples couldn't fully grasp this command though. When Jesus gave the command that "As I have loved you, so you must love one another" he knew that within a few hours he would be betrayed and the very next day he would give up his life to love them. Having in mind the ultimate sacrifice of love that he would go through the next day, Jesus knew the full meaning of what this command to us would mean. This command is not empty or void; it is complete and perfect. Do not take it lightly. In this Easter season, remember those words: Love one another.

Mourn his death

2006-04-15T12:01:00.000-05:00

As I was driving home last night, I drove by a Lutheran church and I saw a wooden cross outside on the lawn. Draped on the cross was a piece of black cloth, like this:

As I looked at it, I said to myself, "Our Savior is dead. He has been defeated." I mourned as I thought about how the disciples must have felt when their Messiah was in the grave. They followed him everywhere for three years. They marched into Jerusalem, the political capital of Israel, hoping to be with the man who would bring political freedom from the Romans. Now, their lives were turned upside down. Their leader was in the grave.
Praise God that the story does not end there.

"And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins." [1 Cor. 15:17]

If he was still in the grave, then we have no salvation from sins.

"But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead" [1 Cor. 15:20a]

He has been raised from the dead by God. You see, Christ conquered the inevitable of mankind (death) in order that mankind, through Christ, could conquer another inevitable (sin).

[Insert something pithy here]

2006-04-11T13:50:00.000-05:00

I spent my weekend at Table Rock Wesleyan Camp. I was helping out in leading worship for the retreat that the 'Camps and Retreats' class planned. It was a great time. I was able to spend some time relaxing, goofing off, playing awesome games of 'Capture the Flag' and crouching in some bushes back-to-back with Paul underneath his dark blue bed sheet for a counselor hunt. So we had some great times. The teens were great and the crew we had running the retreat were great. Props to Mike and Brady for speaking. You guys did great.

I've got a few things on my heart that I want to quickly address. I am writing each of these out of love.

If you are going to attend chapel, don't spend half of the service passing notes so that you can argue with someone else. At least have the decency to do that somewhere else.

I am seeing a lot of what I call the "me" virus. It's the natural reaction to life. It's the very core of who we are as humans. The virus has infected us all, including me. It is the center of our desires, motivations, dreams, goals, and thoughts. ME. We put ourselves first. We brag on ourselves, even if the only time we do it is to defend ourselves to others. We have this constant drive to "one-up" each other. For example, if someone calls me out on something, the first thing I want to do is defend myself and prove that I am right or better. That should be the last response that we have. Our first reaction should not be to defend ourselves or our pride. But we all do it. We are so inwardly focused that we forget to see the world outside. We even deceive ourselves into believing that we aren't inwardly focused. We make ourselves believe that we are good people and that we truly care about others, when in reality, we only care about others when they are beneficial to us, friendly to us, or helpful to us. I'm sure that Hitler cared about those kind of people too; so what separates us? Has the Holy Spirit had a chance to change our hearts so that we are outwardly focused? [Remember that I am speaking to myself as well]

Another issue to face is the spiritual life on campus. This issue has arisen in many different conversations that I have had or heard. There seems to be a decline in the good spiritual atmosphere of SWU. For whatever reason, it seems (from my perspective at least) to be declining. This has probably happened because of various reasons. Here are just a few possibilities that I see:
1. Many people are not taking advantage of spiritual activities on campus
2. More people are attending SWU now that came to SWU with the mindset that the rules and spiritual aspect of college do not matter. Obviously, if they come here with this mindset, it would damage the atmosphere here.
3. Those who are looked at for a Christian example are not living up to it, and I mean the students of the Religion dept. We have religion students who are living a life of pure indulgence. We have some students drinking, getting drunk, partying with the best of them, being sexual active, being addicted to sexual temptation (lust in the mind, sex with a dating partner, pornography, etc.), cursing like sailors, showing some of the worst attitudes on campus, anger management problems, etc. And we expect other people to step up to the plate and become more Christlike? Not going to happen. If we can not live "above reproach" then how are we going to expect others to desire this holy life either?
4. Many are slammed with responsibilities and work to be able to spend much time growing spiritually. Bad excuse, but at least honest.

These are only a few reasons. I honestly am not completely sure why this has happened. I have no solid answer to give for the reason that the spiritual life of SWU has declined. I wonder if we would begin to take our life in Christ more seriously, things might change. I wonder if we would humble ourselves before God and look to Him for an answer and a solution, then maybe we would resolve this issue? I wonder if a movement would start among the students, faculty and staff, starting with the religion students, to have a day of fasting and prayer for the school, then maybe, just maybe, we would find favor with God and He would show His love and mercy in a new way to this campus. Do we believe that could happen? Are we willing to show we believe that could happen? That's my heart's cry. I type out of love, for the students, faculty, staff, and for this haven that I have known as home for the last 3 years. Please understand that I type out of love.

Tell me your thoughts. I would like to hear what some other people see and experience. May God's hand rest with each of you out there.

George Mason

2006-04-05T22:39:00.000-05:00

Near the end of the game with UConn, Jim Larranaga, coach of George Mason, pulls his players close to him in a timeout. The scoreboard numbers are too close for comfort. He looks at his stressed and scared players, in the midst of a game that was never thought possible as they fought for the spot to be in the Final Four, and Jim said to his players, "Am I the only one here having fun?"

Too many times we get caught up in the reality of life and the seriousness of it all. We forget where we are. We have been the "giant killers" as George Mason was. They had already beaten the odds. They were already where no one thought they would be. Sometimes we need to remember how far we've come to be able to handle what we have ahead of us to accomplish.

Am I the only one here having fun?

Quick post

2006-04-05T00:56:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry for not updating. I'm also sorry that this will be a rather short post. I just felt like I should put something down. It's 2am and I am still really busy this time of the semester.

I cut my hair into a mullet. Pictures are here on my facebook photo albums page. I now cut the mullet off and then shaved off my beard.

I went to see Hillsong United tonight at Northpoint Church in Atlanta (where Andy Stanley is the pastor). It was amazing. There had to be well over 3000 people there. So cool. It made me want to give up on grad school and just travel leading worship. I still can't shake that pull towards music. I love it.

My summer plans are set finally. I will be in Indianapolis from about May 8 until June 1. I will be living up there to intern with Daron Earlewine, the pastor of The Crux, a Wesleyan church plant. He was the visionary for this church plant and helped build it from the ground up. He's also a great communicator. I think there will be a lot to learn from him while I'm there. I'm so excited about doing that.
After I leave there on June 1, I will come straight back to SWU to travel with the ministry team again. After some conversations with the school, it was decided to let the team from last year travel again just for the summer and then hold auditions for a new team in the Fall. My apologizes to those who had signed up for auditions. I know it was a decision made too late in the semester. The school was just waiting to see if any other people would sign up before making a decision about what to do to be able to get a full band put together. So, I will travel with the team from June through the first half of August. I have a packed but AMAZING summer ahead of me!

School is a lot of work this semester, but great. I'm learning a lot through my reading, projects, and papers.

That's all for now. Just so I can say I wrote something of some depth, here's some statements I've heard or thought about recently:

Feed what you want to live and starve what you want to die. - Tom Harding

What's the purpose of the armor of God if there is not a willing warrior to wear it? - written in a journal kept by a 19-year-old from Hillsong's youth group who died in a car accident

Love the Church. Love Her and cherish Her. She is Christ's bride.

I keep thinking of the future. I dream too big. I envision things that I believe are not possible for me to acheive. I can't help but see the best and dream the most wildest dreams of how God could be glorified through my life, but I can't seem to rationalize how that could ever become a reality. Do I connect with Acts 2 in thinking that "young men will see visions" is a reality in me? I do not dare to be so presumptuous. But I can't help but dream the wildest things, to envision the greatest ways that God's majesty and mankind's redemption can be actualized.

Never cease to amaze

2006-03-05T13:44:00.000-05:00

To quote Andy Katz, senior writer at ESPN.com, in his article Tar Heels back on top after upsetting Duke:

What Carolina has done this season is quite amazing. The Tar Heels lost their top seven players off a national championship team. The only returning players of note were three role guys in David Noel, Byron Sanders and Quentin Thomas. To be fair, the Tar Heels did have a solid freshmen class, led by forward Tyler Hansbrough. But still, do you really think anyone would have guessed that in the regular-season finale at Duke the four UNC freshmen (Hansbrough, Marcus Ginyard, Danny Green and Bobby Frasor) would outscore the four Duke seniors (Redick, Williams, Sean Dockery and Lee Melchionni) 55-51?

Just had to throw that out there. 83-76...in Cameron...Redick and Sheldon's senior night. Four Tar Heel freshman...best choice for NCAA Coach of the Year. The boys never cease to amaze me this year.

Our own seminary?

2006-03-02T14:47:00.000-05:00

For those Wesleyans out there who might be interested in detailed discussion about seminaries and the possibilities of The Wesleyan Church starting its own seminary, Please check out this post on Ken Schenck's blog (Ken is a professor of NT at IWU). It is quite an interesting read.

Once I'm on break next week, I promise I'll actually write something on here again.

Bluegrass Country

2006-02-23T00:55:00.000-05:00

So, I'm sitting at a generic computer in the lower level of the Beeson Manor, which is a hotel on the campus of Asbury Theological Seminary. ATS is an interdenominational seminary in Wilmore, Kentucky. We're here for tonight and tomorrow checking the place out. I've been here before in the fall of 2004, but I decided it would be a good excuse to get away from school for 48 hours and take time to experience the campus again, praying to find God's will for the direction of my graduate education. I'm still mostly considering Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in Massachusetts, and also considering Southern Evangelical Seminary in Charlotte, NC. More on those ideas in a different post.
Tonight we spent time hanging out in Matt LeRoy's place. We spent time there with Matt, Josh LeRoy, Jake Neal, and some others. It was a good time hanging out with each of them. Tomorrow (or I guess, later today), we are going through some admissions and financial aid speeches, a chapel service, lunch, tour of the campus, and sitting in on a class. Then another 8 hour ride back to school to get back around midnight. It should be good stuff though.
New stuff in my life: Benji, Todd, and I started a "band", in the sense of a John Wesley band. A band, a type of small group system set up by John Wesley in England, is a group, maximum of 6 same gender people, who hold each other accountable, encourage and spur each other on in a pursuit of holiness. I believe this will be a great means of grace to help us on toward perfect love being acted out in our lives, toward both God and others.
Something to ponder: If you take a Wesleyan-Arminian theological worldview, then you believe in free will. This is the greatest power that God has granted mankind: choice. However, that greatest power of ours is also our greatest responsibility. We have a responsibility to choose and to move. We can NOT stand stagnant, waiting for life to fall into our laps as we wish it would. We can NOT sit by idle. The kingdom of God will not advance if we sit on our hands, do not leave the comfortable chair, and do not risk our lives, desires, and fears. I'm slowly learning that. Take that in for a little while today. If we truly understand this, we would live quite differently.

Happy Birthday Rachid!

2006-02-14T17:00:00.000-05:00

Today is Valentine's Day. I could make some long negative spill about today, dating, girls, etc. To be honest, I wouldn't feel bad about doing that. However, instead I'm just going to say this: I CAN'T WAIT for the day that I can spend a day like today with someone whom I can love, with reckless abandonment, enjoying that bond of complete trust and not fearing that vulnerability.

For now, Nikiema Abdoul Rachid turns 5 years old today. He's my child... Compassion child, that is. I can't wait for the day he can write me a full letter. For now, he draws me pictures of clouds and monkeys.

This week has been great. I was able to connect Monday with Phil Stevenson, the Director of Evangelism and Church Growth for The Wesleyan Church. I met with him over coffee at the City discussing my ideas about urban ministry, urban church planting, and possibilities of planting in Boston. There are no Wesleyan churches in the whole state of Massachusetts. So he said he calls those kind of church plants "parachute drop" operations. It's like the military when they fly out over areas that they aren't allowed to land on and they drop some men from the helicopter who soar down to the ground with their parachutes to do some operation. Interesting analogy. He was able to get me some ideas on what to start doing now to prepare and figure out if that is certainly what God wants me to do.

Last, I just want to mention something that has been on my heart recently. I can't go into depth with it now because I need to get some other things done, but maybe I will be able to expand later. I must confess that I have not served well. I have not loved unconditionally, given of myself wholly, or served others whole-heartedly. I have given in to the sins of selfishness, self-pity on occasion, complacency, mediocrity, among many others. For that, I ask forgiveness and beg mercy from God to change and mold my heart to love and serve completely, abandoning my selfish desires.

Quick post...

2006-02-11T03:15:00.000-05:00

- Greek was saved! Props go to the Religion faculty! It will remain at 4 semesters. However, Dr. Fipps is restructuring the 3rd and 4th semesters to get more inductive Bible study done (in Matthew and Romans).
- I had my Alpha Chi induction ceremony this morning. Alpha Chi is a national college honor scholarship society. The top 5% of the junior class is inducted. I'm not sure of any benefits other than something more to add to graduate school applications, but I am still honored, nonetheless, to get accepted.
- I went bowling tonight as the student activity this weekend. I had a great time with friends. I bowled 4 games (126, 90, 128, and 114). That's not so bad I guess.

More to tell, I'm sure, but it is too late and I am going to bed. Goodnight to all!

Anniversary of my escape...

2006-02-09T01:55:00.000-05:00

Well, yesterday was my birthday, number 21 to be exact. However, for anyone wondering, the only addicting or altering substance that I consumed was two coffee beverages, one at the City and one at Starbucks (part of my b-day present from Emily...thanks!). Although I still had meetings throughout the day, it was a great birthday. Everybody made it great. I received two cakes today, the first one at lunch (made of random desserts in the cafe all piled together on a plate smothered in whipped cream...props to Lyle and Thomas) and the second late tonight (cinnamon cake made by Ashley and Megan...thanks ladies!). I was given some awesome gifts too (thanks Em!). Many others made the day awesome too. I didn't have any big celebration for my 21st, but I did get a great day surrounded by friends.

On Wednesday, the Religion faculty had a meeting and a vote to decide what to do with the Greek classes. As far as I understand, the issue on the table: We need to cut back on required amount of Greek because 1) alumni are not using it much, 2) those hours in the major could be used for more "practical ministry" classes, and 3) the school is losing students and not growing because students are going to the other Wesleyan universities so they will not have to take Greek. So, basically, we compromise because our Religion students are extremely lazy punks who don't want to put any effort into their training to serve the almighty and sovereign God. Nobody wants to have to WORK at their ministerial training...as if the pastorate is easy. How do we expect to be rightful stewards of the eternal Word if we can't know it in its original language, diction, grammar, and context? Do you believe that the Word isn't that big of a deal? That it speaks for itself or something? There lies the problem with the Church today: we have lost the desire and passion for the Word. We don't realize anymore that we have the very mind and heart of Christ on our bookshelves, just waiting to transform us into the people that we've always wished we could become. We no longer pursue the mind of Christ, to think like He thinks or live as He lived, especially not to love like He loved. We look like everyone else. We struggle in picking up the Word everyday, many of us for even half an hour. We certainly struggle in loving the Word enough to dig into it for hours a day. Yet we expect to be transformed people, to be capable of leading others to a Christ that we don't know well ourselves.
I have hoped and prayed that the vote would go as God would have it. However, I still can't help but hope that they do not diminish the value of Greek in our preparation. The Church has destroyed the value of intellectualism enough the way it is. That's why we have a bunch of religion majors who don't think they have to know stuff to be a pastor. I feel sorry for all the people whom they will inadvertently turn away from Christ and the Church because of their [religion majors] ignorance.

Sorry for the soapbox. All in all, Happy Birthday to me! Goodnight and God bless.

Call to Holiness

2006-02-05T00:33:00.000-05:00

I'm reading through More Than Forgiveness by Steve DeNeff. If you haven't read it, READ IT. Brilliant book on the doctrine of holiness and how to apply those doctrines into our pursuit of Christ.

While reading today, I was blown away by so many simple statements that I knew, but never deeply thought about. In the reading today, DeNeff was presenting the idea that holiness is not about actions, but about the desire of the heart. Here are some excerpts from today that I feel compelled to share and hope that you take them to heart. I hope that these words are as piercing for you as they were for me.

There are two kinds of sinners. There are those who act like sinners, and there are those who act like saints. One kind of sinner indulges an appetite while the other starves it, but both have the same appetite. One kind does whatever he wants while the other does what he thinks he should, but underneath they both want the same things. One fornicates while the other lusts, but both have committed adultery (see Matt. 5:28). One tells dirty jokes while the other merely laughs at them, but both enjoy bawdy humor. One perjures himself in a courtroom while the other slanders his enemies over lunch, yet both are guilty of bearing false witness. Yes, there are two ways to commit nearly every sin, and so sinners are not always what they seem. Some are proud of their brazenness while others rest in their apparent righteousness; some are straight forward, others self-righteous; some ignore the Cross of Christ while the others presume upon it but, both are its enemies.

I am going to define two categories for you, and I would like you to put yourself into one of them. The first is attrition, which means that you feel very sorry for your sins because you know they are ruining your life and keeping you from heaven. In addition to this, you know that the Bible and the church are against these things, and so you feel guilty when you do them. The other is contrition, which means that you feel sorry for your sins because you know they grieve the heart of God. It means that even if the church and the Bible did not forbid such things, and if they did not ruin your life, you would confess them anyway because you truly desire to be rid of the sins themselves, not merely the guilt incurred by them.

If they were granted a single day to do whatever they pleased with no need to fear the wrath of God, what would they do? If it were not wrong to neglect the reading of Scripture, would they read it simply to know the mind of Christ? Do their sins truly bother them, or do they hate to love them? Do they truly love their enemies, or is it only that they are supposed to?

Living at "the City"

2006-01-30T21:52:00.000-05:00

So my life has consisted of countless hours sitting in the new Java City coffee shop on campus, talking with friends, laughing, reading books, studying, and consuming lots of caffeine. It has been great to have a central chill spot on campus. Well, I have four exams this week, so this will have to be a quick update without lengthy rants on life.

My 21st birthday is coming up on Feb. 8. I guess that's exciting.
Spiritual Emphasis was a great time on the campus. I find myself blown away each semester at how God moves in people's lives. I continue to pray for their continual commit to Christ as they move forward in their relationship with Him. God showed me personally more of the meaning of "perfect love." He is building that definition into my being and making it a bigger reality in my life. I can't wait to see how He keeps moving.
I emailed Chris Conrad, Director of Church Planter Development, dealing with my vision of Boston. He was thrilled with the idea and had actually been in Boston a few months prior to my email. While he was there, he had the thought that it would be a great place to plant an urban church. Maybe God is in that coincidence...maybe not. Who knows. But at least dialogue has been started.

I need to get studying. Peace. Keep Him first. Keep love first.

Continuing this chapter and can't help but dream about the next...

2006-01-12T23:37:00.000-05:00

So I am finishing up my first week back at school. Another semester of SWU life. I'm settling back in quite fine. For some reason, this was the first time I wasn't 100% completely excited about leaving Salisbury and coming back to SWU. Don't get me wrong...I love coming back to SWU because it's home for me right now...and don't get me wrong...I don't really enjoy Salisbury too much. However, for some reason not known to me, I was sad to leave Salisbury again. Break was long enough to allow me the chance to settle in and get back into the routine of work and spending time with friends in Salisbury. That was the first time since last Christmas that I was in Salisbury for more than 5 days at a time. Through all of that, I am still excited about starting another semester. This semester is going to be challenging, reading intensive, and VERY thought-provoking...like I need to spend more of my time pondering the big questions of God, life, and ministry.

Speaking of God, life, and ministry, I'm still fervently looking at urban church planting, and am seeking God's direction and vision for possibly going to Boston. I can't imagine fulfilling that dream, but I intend on finding out if it is God's design. This will not be easy though. Apparently there isn't a Wesleyan church in the whole state of Massachusetts. There is no network of support already there. There isn't even a district there as far as I understand it. There isn't a church already there. There isn't a congregation already there. There isn't a paycheck waiting for me. The state and city are known for its rather liberal moral stances, most of which are against Biblical ideals and teachings. The city, home to Harvard and M.I.T. among a ton of other colleges, is one of the most intellectual cities in the world. Boston is the 2nd most expensive city to live in, next to NYC. Why do I have this crazy idea that I can take one of the most offensive messages to these people and succeed? Why do I have such a passion for this vision, knowing that the Gospel will not be received easily and I will not be able to back down or water it down? Why me? How can someone like me do something like that?

I'm not sure how all those questions will be answered. I'm not totally sure if this is God's vision for my life and my legacy. All I know is that I will not let my life be a waste. I will not serve my God half-heartedly. I will not settle for the easy route. I will not dream small dreams. I will not fear the big dream, the big responsibility. I will not believe that God can't make it happen. I will not go through life without the faith that God can make ANYTHING happen. That's why we don't have a miraculous movement wiping across the face of this planet with the love of Christ. That's why we haven't seen another Great Awakening. We don't dream big. We don't put into action a faith that takes risks and gives up EVERYTHING for the sake of God's redeeming love being manifested in lives all across this world. We don't live like we believe God can move. We are nobodys! We are SELL OUTS! I beg you (and I'm screaming at myself here), don't live like a complacent sell out! Dream big. Give God the credit He deserves by dreaming bigger than you could ever imagine. Not because you are so skilled, talented, or amazing, but because He is more amazing than we have realized.

As I pray over this vision and seek to discover if it is God's vision, I also pray that God would ignite a passion in others for a greater vision of what God can do; not only that, but especially that He would ignite a deep passion in some people for this vision, for Boston. I don't expect anybody to want to come with me. To be honest, Boston is not the city that I would choose to live in if I could make the choice. I would love to live the remainder of my life in North Carolina. But my desires and your desires should have no bearing on this issue. I can't feel good about myself when there are (just as an example) 10 Wesleyan churches with an Asheboro address and yet no Wesleyan churches in many other areas just within our own country, including the whole state of Massachusetts. I would love to pastor in NC, but I feel too guilty about hoarding the joy of redemption in the "Bible Belt" of the South when there are millions elsewhere. However, I won't be able to push people out of their own ideas so that they would go to the harder places and do the harder thing. God will have to move in those people for that to happen. So I pray fervently that God will move people to get out of their own desires about how their life should go, and look to see how they can sacrifice it all for a greater cause. To be honest, among those whom I pray God will move, I am already praying that God would already be stirring into the heart of some amazing woman out there, whoever and wherever she might be, a deep passion for this cause, of doing the hard thing, going to the hard place, and sacrificing it all for the cause. This is my adventure, my mission, that I am seeing right now. But I can't expect her to join me on it unless God ignites her heart for the Gospel and for people, wherever or whoever those people might be, and makes her willing to risk it all for those people's sake.

We shall see how God chooses to move. I look forward to great things that He can do, if we will be willing to risk it all. For now, I will just dream...and will always dream big.

What a break!

2006-01-04T00:09:00.000-05:00

I have had such an amazing break. It has been an endless time of good days and good friends. I've worked at Jersey Mikes while being home. I've caught up with high school friends and others. I've been to Starbucks countless times. I've spent time with my parents. I had a good Christmas. I traveled to Orlando for the Logos '05 Wesleyan Southern Area Youth Convention. I got to interact with a couple thousand people there while helping out at the SWU booth. I got to see many different people that I know from different places from traveling on the ministry team while I was there. I just got back tonight from Chapel Hill, where I watched the Tar Heels beat Davidson College 82-58! Good days.

Logos 05 was really fun. I loved talking with so many people at the SWU booth and seeing lots of people that I know or haven't seen in a long time. I got to catch some lunch with Daron Earlewine (lead pastor at The Crux in Indianapolis). We had a good conversation about the Church, implications of the urbanization movement and how the Church needs to respond, my thoughts about Boston and church planting, the possibility of internship at The Crux next summer, etc., etc. I'm really hoping that all works out to do the internship up there. That would be priceless experience working with Daron and The Crux. That would give me a great summer plugged into urban church ministry learning from the guy who did the church planting, giving me the opportunity to wrestle with all of those ideas and figure out more of where God is leading me.

My time at Logos made me think and wrestle with a lot of things. There were a lot of personal discipline things that I had to wrestle with, dealing with areas of my life that are not where they should be. I gained a new drive for pursuing holiness in my life, not just complacent Christianity. While there, I wrestled a lot with ideas of where I am going and what I need to do with my life. I gained a lot of faith in God while wrestling through these ideas. I had a wonderful experience of remembering my daily necessity of grace from God, a concept that I knew before but needed a deep reminder. Sometimes I get far away from that concept and start becoming self-reliant.

I have to praise God for many things in my life. Right now, I have to praise Him for continually:
1. Breaking my heart for people and the hurting of this world
2. Providing me with a network of friends and people who, for some reason, believe in me
3. Convicting me of my lack of sacrifice and discipline for Him
4. Providing me with opportunities which are helping me grow and work towards serving Him in the ministry
5. Showing me that I have to go out of the norm, going to the hard places, doing the hard things, and sacrificing on the way.
6. Comforting my fears as I look ahead at dreams and visions of mine, when all I can see sometimes are the impossibilities and obstacles
7. Pouring light into the gray of my life to break me out of the complacency that I slowly sink myself into
8. Giving me grace for the same crap that I allow in my life
9. Being infinitely patient with me

There are enough reasons to be listing through the night. Those are but a few on my mind right now. Thanks be to God.

Quick Fact:
• 1 out of every 3 Boston residents is a member of the 20-34 year old age group.
• Boston has the 2nd largest (33%) concentration of 20-34 year olds of any major city in the country.

The culture destroys the sacred

2005-12-20T17:10:00.000-05:00

So apparently, Walmart and many other major businesses are forbidding their employees to say "Merry Christmas" and other specific religious holiday greetings to patrons; instead, they have to say "Happy Holidays" to be politically correct and non-offensive. Well, to be honest, I am thrilled to hear that Walmart and many other businesses are not allowed to say "Merry Christmas". Basically, because I'm sick of our culture and its people enjoying the benefits of Christianity (such as holidays which give them time off work and getting gifts and crap from other people) without taking on the beliefs, morals, or disciplines of Christianity. That goes for non-Christians who totally reject Christian teachings and for Christians who don't live by those teachings.
Christmas has become a CULTURAL holiday instead of a CHRISTIAN holiday, and allowing businesses to support Christmas just furthers the fact that it is a CULTURAL holiday. These businesses are not specifically CHRISTIAN businesses. So, by them supporting Christmas specifically, we are allowing Christmas to become a general holiday of the culture instead of a specific holiday of a specific group of people within the culture. I would love to see the number of households with a Christmas tree in their home be closer to the number of households which attend church at all during the year; even more drastic, those households which attend church more than just Christmas and Easter. You don't see non-Jewish people celebrating Hanukkah. You don't see non-Muslim people fasting for Ramadan. So why are SO MANY non-Christian families celebrating Christmas? BECAUSE IT HAS BECOME A CULTURAL HOLIDAY!!! And the non-Christian businesses of America further this by supporting Christmas. Why should they suddenly mention Christ in their greeting for one month out of the year and then forget Him the other 11? I'd rather them not mention Christ at all nor support a holiday which SHOULD BE a holiday specifically for Christians, since the holiday is to celebrate an omnipotent God who held everything in the palm of His hand, yet traded it for the humility and powerlessness of flesh and blood. I'd rather have Christmas be specifically a Christian holiday and not well-supported by the culture than to have it the way it is now. There is no sacredness to Christmas the way it is now.

Here's my challenge: If you are not Christian, you do not follow the words of Jesus, and you do not fall upon the grace that He has offered to you by coming to this world in the flesh, then do not observe the day set aside each year to remember and rejoice in the incarnation of our Savior.

Maybe all of that is somewhat coherent. I'm not always the best at expressing my thoughts in a ordered way. Anyways, chew on that and spit back some comments.

I can't sleep

2005-12-10T23:45:00.000-05:00

I do not speak for ALL religion majors in the majority of this; however, I do speak for myself and many of the religion majors who take very seriously the implications of God's call.

Here's a shocker: I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS LIFE! I didn't ask for this calling. I didn't ask for God to call me to serve and love His church with my life. I didn't ask to be put in the spotlight. I didn't ask to be thrown on stage in front of all. I didn't ask for my life to be analyzed and scrutinized by all. I didn't ask for my life to be an open book. I didn't ask for me to have to be the example. I didn't ask to be under others' microscopes, so that when I do something good, no one notices or gives a crap, but, when I do one thing slightly offcolor, I'm dragged to the guilitine. I didn't ask to be the one who is expected to be perfect. How dare others expect me to be perfect. Am I not allowed to be a "work in progress?" Am I suddenly supposed to be spiritually & morally complete? Am I not allowed time to work through progressive sanctification, as the Holy Spirit deals with parts of my life that are not holy (or, set apart for God)? Would you be so bold to deny the Spirit His right to do that progressive work of grace in my life and, thereby, demand Him to do it all at once? Am I not allowed to struggle? Am I denied the right to have the very thing that gives me my humanity and separates me from divinity? Am I expected to live to the level of divinity? If so, then I would not need another's divinity for my own salvation because of salvation from my own divinity. And if that was so, there is no need for another divinity because we would be capable of reaching it on our own. Therefore, being able to achieve divinity on your own, you can stop griping because you would not need others under God's calling to point you toward another divinity.

Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, I am scared out of my mind because of the thought that God would trust scum like me with His bride, the Church? Have you ever taken the slightest time to consider from the other perspective and realize that I could easily, and have, made myself physically sick over the thought that the God of all TRUSTS ME with a small part of His Church? Do you realize that it is a daily struggle inside of me to understand those implications and consequences? Do you understand that I have asked God to take it back, because I don't trust myself? Or because I know the depth of my own humanity and how deep those scars run? Do you have a clue of the fear that I deal with on a daily basis because of God's call on my life? Do you think that I need someone else to point out the fact that I CAN'T LIVE UP TO IT? Please...I beg, throw more dirt on my grave. Please...point out all my faults and completely forget anything good I have ever done. No seriously, I don't remind myself enough EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE that I am a sick creature who stands no fighting chance of ever serving God faithfully. Oh PLEASE, remind me once more.

Religion majors are not worshipped on this campus. If ANYTHING, we are the FIRST to be looked down upon, gossiped about, scrutinized, etc. Everybody sets their expectations higher for us, and as soon as any of us barely don't meet it, we are labeled hypocritical scum. This goes for students and professors. You never thought that religion majors are the first to get gossiped about in Gen. Ed. classes. If we aren't academically above the rest of the Gen. Ed. class, we are suddenly failures at being "Christ-like examples."
Oh yeah, religion majors DON'T get any more financial breaks than any other student on this campus. And don't try the donor scholarship crap, because the school has no say as to whom that money goes to. Those are earmarked by the donors to specific criteria.

I don't need anyone else's help in putting me on the town scaffold. I tend to leave myself up there, calling down upon myself my own unworthiness and knowledge of my inability to do anything good.

The Peak of Intensity

2005-12-04T01:52:00.000-05:00

According to my english and literature classes (which are thankfully behind me now), there is always at least one point in a story when the intensity of the plot peaks. Movies are usually always the same way. It's the point when there are numerous loose ends, possibilities of the outcome, and so many things unresolved. It's the point when you are screaming at the book or the big screen and you can't help but desire to know what happens. The lack of resolution is KILLING YOU at this moment, at the peak of intensity. I find this part of my life to possibly be that part of the story, although it comes earlier in my life than it usually does in a book. This is the part of life when I am building a foundation which I will have to stand upon for the rest of my life. I am building my character and integrity, which will carry with me until I die. I am also making hard decisions that will affect everything, like what path of ministry I pursue and where I continue my education in grad school. I am also waiting for the chance to make hard decisions, like finding one person for whom I am willing to risk everything and willing to work with to make a lasting relationship. I find myself in the midst of this peak of the novel entitled My Life and it is KILLING ME not knowing how it is going to be resolved, not knowing what happens in the next chapter. Thanks be to God who grants me the chance to learn to trust, listen, and obey Him. He gives me the chance to become more dependent upon Him for life and where it will lead me. Being stuck in the waiting room at the doctor's office is always a horrible time, but it is always worth it when the Doctor knows the cure for my situation.

Drawing near...light is filtering in

2005-12-02T00:38:00.000-05:00

So Friday starts exam week. To usher in the arduous week, I begin with my Systematic Theology exam, for which I am currently not prepared. Oh well. That's the story of my life. Tonight was the Christmas banquet. I had a great time. Ashley did a great job of planning out the banquet. I know she put in a ton of time and stress to put it together. I had the privilege of being accompanied by the wonderful and ravishing Emily Dill. That was a great plus to the evening. Near the end of the banquet, I had the chance to read the Christmas story from Luke 2 and do a quick devotional from it. It was quite a contrast from the humorous and light-hearted entertainment prior to it. I hope I didn't get too serious for the mood. I enjoyed being able to do that though.
We had revival services at Easley First Wesleyan this week, from Sunday through Wednesday. That was quite a stressful adventure. Playing everyday, Monday through Friday, having to practice right before service, making last minute PowerPoints, bypassing parts of the sound board to make the sound system work correctly...leading worship is no joke. It was a great time though. We had some great sermons (especially Benji's!) and had some great songs that we worshipped through.
I decided that most of my Christmas will consist of my parents helping me pay for a trip to Boston over spring break. I am going up there to check out Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and to check out the city (to see about the whole urban church plant vision that I had). I really want to pray deeply about it leading up to that trip, praying that God would use that trip to show me how He wants to use me, and if it needs to be there in Boston or somewhere else. So, if anyone wants to go to Boston for spring break, I'd be happy to have a travel companion(s). Just have to figure out how to pay for the trip.
Well, I'm out. My prayer goes up for everybody in the midst of exams and the closing semester. The light is drawing near and filtering into the darkness to show an end to this tunnel.

Yup...

2005-11-26T00:03:00.000-05:00

Life's good. Just way too busy. I do this to myself. It's November, the end of the semester. I have a huge project or paper due about every 2 days for a couple weeks straight. And yes, I, like any good and normal college student, have not worked in advance on ANY OF IT. So, now, I'm screwed. Get used to living @ 4am and falling asleep in 8am class.

Outside the academia world,...wait...do I have anything else? Wait...yes...I do have a soul outside of term papers and exams. Nov. 19 was my last time playing with 'The Difference'. How sad. I know it took all my weekends and all summer, and it stressed me out beyond belief because it was hard keeping up in my classes too. But, still...I loved it. Traveling, playing music with the most talented musicians I have come across, the inside jokes, the funny moments, the wrong Mapquest directions, the list could go on and on. I'm going to miss all of that. So now I have about $3500 worth of guitars and equipment sitting in my room with no van and trailer to call home.

However, as much as I will miss traveling, I make a vow right now: I will NOT commit or involve myself in ANYTHING more next semester than I am already committed to. That means student chaplain and Easley First Wesleyan Church. Nothing more. I overworked myself way too much this semester and screwed myself. Now all I want is a break. I need time to gain some life experience in other areas, spending time with friends, with people who hurt, with people who have needs, with culture. I need time to analyze, to pray, to figure some things out, to understand life more. I know that sounds way too "out there" and over-the-top on the "meaning of life" deal. However, I found out that I have made my life so busy that I don't have time to sit down and deal with the bigger issues stirring in my heart and infecting through my veins, things that are consuming, unresolved realities that need to be dealt with. I hope next semester to be such a time to do that.

While writing this, something just hit me. I have way too many friends. I guess "too many" was not the correct way to express that. Maybe "so many" would have been better. Either way, I just realized that so many people are in my life now that I can confide in, lean on, rant to, express myself to, spend time with, have fun with, etc. There are so many selfless people out there who have taken the time to get to know me and pour a little of themselves into me. I'm not sure how much of that could be said when the spotlight hits me. I've been too busy many times for the people around me, those who have taken time and parts of their hearts to care about me. I have to thank God for giving me this hedge of protection, encouragement, knowledge, and care. The joy of good friends. If you are reading this and know that you are one of these people (and I pray you do know), then I say thank you. I appreciate you more than you could ever know. Life would be bland without you.

Well, I guess that's all I'm going to say for tonight. The rest is either temporarily forgotten, not important, or none of your business.

Remind a friend today that you truly love them. Maybe we all, myself included, should be more willing to express ourselves so there will never be regret.

Lost and Found

2005-11-09T00:42:00.000-05:00

So this afternoon, I get out of class around 4pm and get a call from Paul, who had been calling me throughout class. I answer it to listen to him tell me a story that he and Micah went to a local pawn shop because they were bored. They were browsing the DVDs on the shelves, and they came across some rather random DVDs. Some of these were: "Hero: The Rock Opera", "Passion Sacred Revolution: Live from OneDay 2003", "Dogma Special Edition", "Everyday Sunday Music Videos DVD", "Various Christian Artists Music Videos DVD", "Saved". Now, I own all of those exact DVDs. I also own many more DVDs, some of which the same titles were there as well (like "Bruce Almighty", "The Last Samurai", and "School of Rock"). So, to help you realize the connection, let me explain why this is amazing news. I told you that I own all of those DVDs. Well, technically, by right, I own them. However, although I legally own them, I wasn't sure who currently possessed them. This is because while travelling over the summer, being gone for two weeks straight in July, I came back to SWU on the weekend between camps to find that my whole DVD collection had been stolen out of my apartment. Ah...so now you understand. Needless to say, those were obviously my DVDs at the pawn shop. The punk who stole them sold them to the pawn shop, and after sitting on the shelves since probably July, these were the ones that had not been sold by the pawn shop. I went to the pawn shop, explaining my situation, and he told me that he couldn't give them back to me, but that he would cut me a deal. So, he sold me seven of the DVDs that I technically still owned plus another DVD that I didn't previously own (I found Ace Ventura Pet Detective and just had to get it) for a total of $20. Not bad...I guess. I was blown away that after almost half a year, my DVDs were found, only a mile down the road.

This past weekend was extremely exhausting, but it was quite fun too. We left Friday morning at 4am and arrived in Plymouth, Indiana around 4 or 5pm. We set up and had a concert Friday night at a youth center downtown that Plymouth Wesleyan Church runs. That was really fun. My ears were ringing for the rest of the night. Saturday, we set up in the sanctuary at the church and practiced for all the services on Sunday morning. The sanctuary was amazing. The sound system in there was crazy. They had 4 18" subs on stage...wow. Then we traveled with the youth Saturday night to "Laser X" to play a bunch of laser tag with them. Out of my three games of laser tag, I ranked 2nd, 3rd, and 6th out of about 27 people per game. Not too shabby. I also broke a covenant that I made last year. Last year, I swore that I would never set foot on DDR (Dance Dance Revolution). Well, I found out this summer that when ministering to youth, it usually makes it easier for us to minister to them when we make complete fools of ourselves; I guess it sort of breaks the ice and allows them to make a connection with us if they can laugh with/at us. Well, for that reason, I decided to take the DDR challenge. Paul and I faced off on DDR and...made complete fools of ourselves. However, the kids loved it, so that's what mattered. Sunday morning we led worship for all three services. The first service was musically traditional, the second blended, and the third contemporary. That was interesting having three completely different set lists in one morning, starting with hymns in the first service and playing the acoustic guitar, and ending with fast songs with rock riffs and distortion on my electric guitar. Quite interesting experience. We drove back all Sunday afternoon and night, arriving back at school on Monday morning around 1am.

Tonight, I went to Greenville with some of the guys. Good times. Good conversations. Good discussions about each others' lives. It's good to sit around with a bunch of guys and really get to the heart of the matters in each of our lives. Some of us got ice cream at the Marble Slab; then we all continued to Coffee Underground, where I tried some Pumpkin Cheesecake (sooo good). Good times. I can't get enough of the urban atmosphere, especially with good friends.

Excursion to Atlanta

2005-11-02T22:55:00.000-05:00

What a night I had Tuesday night. Jason Williams, Jarred Mann, Jeffrey Moss, and I went to Atlanta to the Masquerade. We went to see Emery and As Cities Burn and a few other bands play...mainly to see Emery. What a show. That was the best concert I've been to possibly in years. It was amazing. As Cities Burn was really good and had a great stage presence. However, when Emery took the stage, there was not another care in the world. They rocked the place out and had an AMAZING stage presence. The music was so intense. Maybe it was because I was standing in front of subs and mains stacked two and a half times taller than I am. Listening to the Emery CD's, which I have done continuously, just doesn't have the same effect anymore after seeing them live. They were just completely amazing.

The trip overall was great. Hanging out with a bunch of guys was really cool. It was really cool to spend time getting to know Jarred and Jeffrey. I'll vouch for them that they are some of the coolest freshman on campus. And it was Jason's 22nd b-day. Even though we were at a place with about four bars and half-naked bartenders, the most contact we had with drinks was me getting a free soda from one of them. After we left, we went to The Varsity, which is some famous hamburger grease-pit in Atlanta. We bought some food for a homeless-looking guy. That was good. It proved to me that I still don't trust people's motives. I am quick to believe someone is scaming me. However, I came to realize through this that I am going to have to make myself vulnerable to being scamed, cheated, lied to, or whatever else. I can't love people with all that I am if I automatically assume they are waiting to screw me over. Who cares if he was already full of food. I still did what I was asked to do. I still gave of myself. It's not my responsibility for him to do the right thing with what I give. But, it is my responsibility to give of myself unselfishly, unconditionally, despite risk or skepticism. That's the only way I will ever be able to show love to a dying world.

I was driving down I-85, approaching the greater Atlanta area (aka, the Dirty South). It was twilight time, growing more dim as each milepost sped by us. We rounded a curve, wondering when we would be in the downtown area. As we came over a hill we could see the Atlanta skyline, lit buildings imposing on the dark expanse above. As we slowly moved in traffic, creeping in between the tall structures, my heart bled a little for the city. I saw these huge buildings and had a realization of how many people were in this cramped space. I realized the concentration of hurting people stuck in this urban life, themselves not realizing that there is so much more to live for. Sociologically, this American movement of the populus to the cities and the surrounding suburbs is spectacular news for those wanting to share the love of our Savior. How else would you be able to assemble this many people in one area to have the chance to love them all? I won't speak for God and say that He made this sociological movement to the cities for this purpose; however, I know that God uses all circumstances for His good and for the good of those who love Him. So, why should we not make extreme effort to infiltrate these metropolitan areas of America? I believe God is moving, and calling, saying to us that we should use the opportunities set before us. I am feeling the pull more and more to urban life and urban ministry. I hope God is calling more to this as well.

I'm leaving 4 AM on Friday morning for Plymouth, Indiana with the ministry team. We'll be going to Josh Woods' church. That should be fun...and extremely exhausting. We'll get back sometime Monday afternoon or evening. I might blog again before I leave. Maybe not.

Do you have any ideas about urban ministry? Think about it this week. Ponder and pray about what vision God is giving you, that just maybe, He would put another paint stroke on the canvas for you to see.

surface info that doesn't really explain anything important ... and my vision

2005-10-29T01:00:00.000-05:00

Green grass, trimmed shrubbery, cleaned buildings, good food...oh yes...the Board of Trustees are on campus this week. Oh the joys of Homecoming week. And this year I am actually involved with it all. Thursday was a rather busy day. As a student chaplain, I had the wonderful privilege of helping in the Trustee chapel. I also had to meet with the trustees that are on the Spiritual Life committee to discuss what I am doing as a student chaplain and to be questioned by them. And to end my festivities with the trustees on Thursday, I sat through a 3-hour dinner banquet with trustees, faculty, Dr. Spittal (SWU president), and many other distinguished guests. It was a good meal, although not quite worth the three hours I was there. So Thursday was a wonderful day of wearing a suit and tie for meetings and dinner.

Friday was not so hectic. I had class at 8am and 11:45am. Oh, by the way, I am on the Homecoming Court that is walking on Saturday for the Homecoming activities. Well, as of today at lunch, I decided that I would be "escorted" by my life-size inflatable blue alien. However, after bouncing the idea off of Ken Dill, my boss (as a student chaplain and as a member of a ministry team), I decided against it. He said there were a lot of people who took the Homecoming activities very seriously and that would look like I was making a mockery of it (which I kind of would be because the Homecoming court is an idiotic popularity contest that goes to show how the Christian community gives in to the stupid customs of secular life. The ideal that Homecoming Court stands for is one of those things that I couldn't wait to get away from by leaving high school)...anyways... So, under his advice, I have decided to use a human female for an escort. So everybody get the rumor mills turning, because I will have Corrie Johnson as my escort. I'll love to laugh at what crazy rumors I'll be asked next week because stupid, ignorant people decide to make their own judgments and assumptions that I could give a rat's tail about.

Today, (Friday), I went to downtown Greenville with Nathan George, Marcus George, and Lyle. We went to check out a tea shop. It's upstairs of a furniture place on the corner of Coffee St. It's just like a coffee shop, just...tea drinks. That place was really sweet. I had a cold green tea mixed with peach flavoring. It was really good. I really enjoyed the atmosphere of the place. It was just an upstairs attic kind of place turned into a modern, urban chill-spot. It had all the modern, urban furniture and lighting. It was cool to check that place out. Being in downtown Greenville and talking with Nathan about our passions really continued the spark in my heart for urban outreach and starting an atypical, urban-based church/outreach ministry. Actually, this has been something on my mind since August. This vision/passion really took on a tangible possibility lately as my thoughts about my future came together. There are three factors towards fulfilling my urban ministry passion that sort of collided together to make a tangible vision. This vision has been floating in my thoughts and prayers for a little while as I'm trying to figure out if it should be more than just a thought. The three factors are: 1) I want to go to seminary to get at least an M.Div. 2) I wanted to find a major American city that did not have a Wesleyan church in it and 3) I wanted to find a way to spend time in the city getting to know the people, their needs, the area, surveying the community and finding out how to best minister to the area. This kind of surveying could take up to a couple or more years. Well, all three of these collided. To address #1, I am mainly looking at either Asbury Theological Seminary or Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary for my grad work. Asbury is in Wilmore, KY. Gordon-Conwell is in 3 locations, with two of the campuses being in Massachusetts. One of those campuses is in Boston, MA, and offers a M.Div. with an urban ministry focus. To address #2, I was wandering through the Wesleyan church website. As I came to find out, there is no Wesleyan church in Boston, MA. (I'll let you think through the connection with #1 on your own.) Now, for #3. Well, let's say that, hypothetically, I go to Gordon-Conwell at the Boston campus for the M.Div w/ urban focus. Living in Boston for three years to complete that degree (since I'm going to get an M.Div. from somewhere anyways, might as well be in Boston...hypothetically) would give me three years of time to get to know the city, the people, the needs, and the culture. It will give me three years to make connections with TONS of people in tons of vocational areas and will allow me time to survey the area to get to know who the average person is and what they need. Upon graduation, I'll have all I should need to start the urban church ministry, including a M.Div. focused on urban ministry and three years of working with the local district for help and getting to know people and the community. How better could that work out for starting an untypical, urban-based church/outreach ministry? There are only two things holding me back from deeply pursuing this: 1) theological differences between me and the seminary (Gordon-Conwell is Calvinist in theology while I am Wesleyan-Arminian in theology) and 2) This is only a thought that I have had. This is not a "burning bush" experience. I haven't received any further confirmation from God that I should be the one to do this. I hope that will soon be made clear. My plan is to work with "The Crux," an urban church in Indianapolis, this summer to help me see if I should be doing it and to gain experience from how they do it. I also plan to visit Boston to get a feel for the city and to sit down to talk with Gordon-Conwell about the programs and the D.S. of that Wesleyan district about my vision. I guess we shall see.

What's your opinion about that vision? What are your plans or visions for the Church or for your work for the Lord after graduation? Leave a comment about it.